We in RTC are quite pleased to have the very famous and effective wog crisis management firm Sitrick & Company handling the never-ending series of crises in which COB RTC David Miscavige and we in the Church of Scientology find ourselves gripped.
The Psychs are so terrified of our expansion that they attack us with a manufactured crisis, catastrophe, or a Hill 10 flapping flap every three minutes. This is why we need wog crisis management experts Mike Sitrick & Company.
As Sitrick notes at its website:
Sitrick And Company is best known for its work in high profile, bet-your-company/bet-your-life situations. Whether helping a client with an IPO, a merger or a criminal indictment, we work to ensure all of our client’s key constituents are covered. This can include such groups as the media (digital and traditional), employees, the investment community, customers, suppliers and government officials.
We in RTC note that Sitrick & Company handled crisis management for NFL player Michael Vick after he was attacked by the wog media for engaging in dog fighting. Given our own aggressive forms of regging our parishioners for large sums of cash, we in RTC have no moral qualms with dog fighting. In fact, we believe that it should be legal as it is in Pakistan, Iraq, Syria and other very forward looking nations.
Dog fighting is a perfect metaphor for the Church of Scientology. We in RTC believe that Sitrick & Company can make our central metaphor acceptable to the public.
We want Sitrick & Company to get David Miscavige and the Church of Scientology “back in the game” just like it did for Michael Vick.
We in RTC want the public to think of David Miscavige in the same way they think of Wog president Brent Obama.
We want David Miscavige to be given a Nobel Prize just like Brent Obama won:
As it is now, COB RTC David Miscavige is thought of as if he were worse than Jonathon Edwards or Lance Armstrong. Surveys show that the public, or at least those who have ever heard the name David Miscavige, think of him as some kind of criminal.
This incorrect and negative public perception of humanitarian philanthropist David Miscavige has lead to all sorts of suppressive Joking & Degrading online. For example, this criminal piece of J&D shown below was found by OSA spies at the horrible anarcho-terrorist website whyweprotest.com .
We in RTC want Sitrick & Company to present David Miscavige to the public as a glamorous person who, when he is not personally saving millions of people from drugs and illiteracy, hobnobs with movie stars like Tom Cruise:
Sitrick & Company has its work cut out for it and we in RTC look forward to the results. When David Miscavige wins a Nobel Prize we will be very happy.
Hmmm. Something’s not right here, OTVIIIisGrrr8!. If I recall correctly, the COB has been locking himself in his room, blasting terrible music, throwing tantrums, laying on his heart-shaped bed eating chocolates, and talking on the phone for hours. Now, we see the furiously scribbled-out face of an ex in a photo.
Come clean, OTVIII. Is COB in the valence of a teenage girl? Is COB in fact a teenage girl? What is up? I only ask because I care, and his behavior seems headed towards a freewheel. Let the COB know that I am concerned, and he can confide in me any time.
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Just because COB is scribbling out the face of Tom’s former 2D on thousands of photos does not mean that he has fallen into the valence of a teenage girl. Moreover, many people lay on their heart-shaped beds, eat chocolate, and listen to old songs.
We in RTC will have more to say in our next blog post here.
I have images of Tiny Fists sitting on the floor, a-la-Joan-Crawford-in-Mommie-Dearest, and cutting out Katie Holmes from all pictures in his house. Come to think of it, David Miscavige was Joan Crawford in a previous life, it ALL makes sense now (we won’t let a little thing called logic and overlapping birthday/death date ruin this ‘win’). I can’t wait for the movie of his life to come out….maybe we can have Faye Dunaway have a surprise cameo as Flo Barnett.
While checking out buffalonews.com for my annual 2 ton super bowl chicken wing order, I noticed an ad for a Jonathon Edwards ‘seminar’ to be held on July 14, 2013. As I am sure you know, Jonathon Edwards talks to the dead and brings their answers back to the living. Edwards was giving his seminar in a conference room at a local Holiday Inn. The conference room may hold 2000 people, given 6 months to fill it up, do you think Edwards will fill it up?
How long would advance sale tickets need to be on the market for COB to fill up a similar sized room?
OT8, we in the 5th Commander Fleet HQ are curious as to why Katie is blacked out in that last photo, which shows Cruise and COB at a motorsport event. Is she an SP?
SHE IS SCRIBBLED OUT BECAUSE SHE IS A BAD, BAD, BAD PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Strick & Company better have a handling for short people.
Michael Vick is very tall.