The Church of Scientology’s wog PR firm Sitrick & Company has instructed we in RTC to begin a new ad campaign.
Called “The Softer Side of COB“, this PR campaign will show the public what COB RTC David Miscavige is like when he is “off duty” and not on the warpath destroying the Global Forces of Psychiatric Suppression.
Sure, these forces threaten to destroy this planet in a psych-drug- fueled thermonuclear holocaust that only the Church of Scientology can prevent. Nevertheless, even COB needs a day off from personally saving the world — and this is the David Miscavige that Sitrick & Company wants the public to see.
For example, below is a never before seen photo of COB relaxing in his private quarters at Int Base. COB does not look like an insane monster or a rampaging criminal psychopath here. Scientology haters and bitter defrocked apostates must be wrong for we factually see the “Softer Side of COB” in this photo:
If Scientology haters and bitter defrocked apostates are wrong about what COB is like when he is off duty, then what are they wrong about when COB is on duty? In other words, we in the Church of Scientology are asking people to think for themselves and not believe what Scientology haters and bitter defrocked apostates say online about COB or the Church.
COB RTC David Miscavige is actually very sensitive and aesthetic and that is what we in the Church of Scientology will begin communicating to the public in the “Softer Side of COB” PR campaign.
Sitrick & Company wants the public to see the Church of Scientology’s secret and ultra-private “Palace of Unicorns” at Flag that COB personally designed for only the most elite IAS Patrons such as Bob Duggan who, by the way, is the newest Scientology billionaire.
Welcome to COB’s Palace of Unicorns, Bob!
The benefits of the “Softer Side of COB” ad campaign will allow the public to think of David Miscavige in a new unit of time. This will allow people to see that David Miscavige has been unfairly misunderstood, this because he is so very highly exceptional in his own way.
The fact that David Miscavige has spent hundreds of hours of his valuable time scribbling the face of Tom Cruise’s ex-2D out of thousands of photos shows just how highly exceptional David Miscavige truly is; what other ecclesiastical leader would lavish such care on an individual parishioner?