Church of Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion today announced that COB RTC David Miscavige took time out from running the world’s fastest growing religion to attend the second inauguration of Wog president Brent Obama.
“COB considers it important in terms of Church PR for him to appear at important Wog functions to show just how much Scientology cares about all of the Wogs. Because Brent Obama is an important Wog politico, COB needs him as a comm line — particularly since Obama is Eric Holder’s senior and Holder is in charge of the FBI. Accordingly, COB was chauffeured the short distance from the Church’s Government Affairs building in DuPont Circle to attend the inauguration,” explained spokesman Delusion.
“While en route to the wog inauguration ceremony,” Delusion continued, “COB signed 218 charters for new Ideal Orgs using his official RTC burlwood pen and the burlwood desk that Sea Org members installed COB’s armored limousine.”
A photo released by the Scientology One News Bureaux shows how COB elbowed his way in between the First Lady and her daughters in order to be seen more prominently in the photo of the swearing in ceremony. “COB will impinge like that when it comes to Church PR; he will body route both children and adults as needed,” remarked spokesman Delusion.
Spokesman Delusion summarized by way of concluding that, “COB RTC David Miscavige later regaled the President and the First Lady and their guests with his tales of how the Church of Scientology has expanded more in the past twelve months than its is previous fifty-one years, which is to say that stats are not only straight up and vertical, but that the Church itself is at risk of imploding like a black hole in deep space due to the immense gravity of its success and its breathtaking cash burn which is greater than any Third World country because, let’s face it, religion — or at least the way we do religion in the Church of Scientology –is an astonishingly expensive proposition.”