We in the Church of Scientology are often attacked by Scientology haters who are full of hateful hate against our millions and millions of members and our hundreds of thousands of new Ideal Orgs.
Daily, and even hourly it seems, the Church of Scientology faces unfounded allegations that its leader COB RTC David Miscavige is a brutal, lying, greedy, and treacherous psychotic who is both vindictive and evil.
Daily, and even hourly it seems, the Church of Scientology is unfairly castigated as a greedy and paranoid Cult due to its fanatical devotion to Clearing the Planet; obliterating Psychiatry at any cost; and engaging end our endless smear campaigns and covert surveillance operations against everyone who even looks at us the wrong way. We are not a “turn the other cheek” religion you see.
The unfounded allegations are simply not true. The Church of Scientology and Mr. David Miscavige in fact are good. The Way to Happiness proves our goodness as does our new lower Bridge pricing structure that is coming soon.
Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion today distributed an information kit to the thousands of members of the global media assembled outside of the Scientology One news offices in Los Angeles. The “Lance Armstrong is Worse than Scientology” media kit included these facts:
Fact: Lance Armstrong admitted telling endless lies whereas we in the Church of Scientology have never admitted to lying about anything.
Fact: Lance Armstrong admitted to doping whereas we in the Church of Scientology have never admitted to using drugs in the Introspection Rundown or against our enemies.
Fact: Lance Armstrong admitted to letting down his children whereas we in the Church of Scientology have never admitted to letting down any young person in the Church. In fact, we in Scientology encourage our young people to skip a worthless wog education and instead begin working full time Clearing the Planet when they are seven or eight years old.
Fact: Lance Armstrong admitted to using blood transfusions whereas we in the Church of Scientology have never admitted to being vampires.
Lance Armstrong: Has admitted to lying.
The Church of Scientology: Has never admitted to lying.
Conclusion: Lance Armstrong is worse than the Church of Scientology. Of course, Mr. Armstrong can still clear his conscience by making a phenomenal and heroic commitment to the IAS, this in the form of the largest cash donation he can possibly make — and preferably as quickly as possible. We in RTC are sending IAS regges Mr. Armstrong’s way while he still has money.
According to COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige, Lance Armstrong should have gotten Scientology auditing in the first place!