Church of Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion today decried the fact that Lawrence Wright and a tiny handful of bitter defrocked apostates have thrust COB RTC David Miscavige into an unwanted media firestorm.
Today as he returned from a lunch meeting with New OTVIII with Tom Cruise, COB RTC David Miscavige was thronged by surly wog reporters as he made way into the Scientology One news building in Hollywood. COB was scheduled to deliver a global broadcast to billions of unwashed foreigners on career opportunities in the Sea Org. But that never happened because of the Hill 10 flapping flap caused by a pack of filthy wogs bent upon destroying Scientology. If anything needs to be destroyed it is Psychiatry and so all of you wogs out there have the wrong target. COB is your friend!
It is a fact that COB RTC David Miscavige is the world’s foremost humanitarian and religious leader. As such, he has no time for enturbulation, particularly when the fate of the universe rests on his narrow shoulders.
We in RTC are outraged by Lawrence Wright’s new book Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood, and the Prison of Belief.
COB RTC David Miscavige is attacked in this book as some kind of degenerate monster. We in RTC do not recognize this image of COB based upon our day to day interactions with COB. No one is kinder or more sane or more considerate than Mr. Miscavige. He has saved hundreds of billions of people through his extraordinary humanitarian efforts that are too extensive to list here but will be fully detailed in an upcoming edition of Freedom Magazine.
But don’t just take our word for it: Mr. Miscavige made it clear through his fancy wog attorneys just how great he is:
"Mr. Miscavige is one of the great individuals of our time. He has been the ecclesiastical leader of the Church of Scientology for over 25 years, a period of unprecedented growth for the Church. "He is a man of impeccable character who has dedicated his life to his faith and to the service of its parishioners. He has improved, enriched or saved millions of lives. He has done so personally and through the Church's numerous social betterment programs that he initiated or expanded and that are available for Scientologists and non-Scientologists alike. "Such programs are available without cost and around the globe, including in some of the most remote regions in Africa and Asia, where governments do not have sufficient resources to help their people. "The Real Story. The real story about Mr. Miscavige is touched on at- page two of this letter. At a time when no other leader stepped forward, Mr. Miscavige initiated and expanded programs to help so many people, for so many years, in so many countries that millions of lives seemingly devastated by illiteracy, drug abuse, human rights violations and natural disasters were transformed for the better. "Mr. Miscavige has asked for nothing in return. That is the story about Mr. Miscavige that should be broadcast. He is the leader of a dynamic religion expanding across five continents. "His duties are herculean and accomplishments monumental."
By way of summarizing in order to once again extol the virtues of COB, we in RTC hasten to remind one and all that David Miscavige serves as both the Chairman of the Board of RTC and Fleet Admiral of Scientology’s Sea Org.
Only a truly big being could be so herculean and monumental. Indeed, it was only yesterday that Fleet Admiral Miscavige stood at Brent Obama’s side as he was sworn in for a second term as President of the Wogs.
Categories: OTVIIIisGrrr8!
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 
Man I wish Miscavige would get swarmed by reporters like that with some hard questions – such as where the hell is your wife? I can dream though…
Love the pic with the president and his wife. – DM (Dippy muchkin) looks like a dorky waiter bringing the first lady a drink.
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I think the Garcia lawsuit will do that for him. As one poster said, its the s*it meeting the fan.
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He’s a man of impeccable character. His wife is so lucky to have him.
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I for one will not stand for these unwarranted attacks on the good name and the unblemishable character of the COB anymore! Today I created the ‘hat’ of ‘PROTECT THE GOOD NAME OF DAVID MISCAVIAGE’. And I am wearing that hat, for now on, and forever. And even after that too.
You (at the RTC) may be proud to hear what I am doing. This morning I started a ‘door to door’ campaign (in my sector of the neighborhood) to clear the area of all enturbulation. And its simple really. I knock on the door, and I ask just one question (whether or not anyone actually answers the door): ‘Do you know of the tireless works of David Miscaviage, the COB of the Church of Scientology International?’ and if the answer is yes, I love bomb them (and ask them for all of their money). And if the answer is no, I respond, (with tone 40 command intention): WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES!!!!! YOU HATEFUL PENIS SUCKING BABY KILLING BASTARD! (or ‘bitch’, if it is one of the lesser sexes). Which I am certain inspires them to reconsider their position re: the COB.
Now I have a purpose in life. And for that I am grateful to you at the RTC. I can’t say for certain (just yet) but I confident my new HAT will result in the local org being filled to the brim with enthusiastic new raw meat.
Life is good in Scientoogyville. Where affinity glows and theta grows and all live happily ever after.
May Ron be with you.
Horacio
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Horacio, we in RTC are proud to see your unreasonable face-ripping cold chrome ethics presence in your neighborhood. Please write KR’s on any of your neighbors who are disaffected with COB or the Church and we will have OSA Fair Game these people.
The world can only be a better place when all SP’s are driven into the oceans of the world. Alternately, they may be arrested and incarcerated for all Eternity into an electronic prison.
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Dear OT8isgrrr8,
I am trying to get a band or two together and posted a shout out for people interested in joining “The Bitter Defrocked Apostates” and “Smershmouth”. (We need to vet that name, so “Smashmouth” doesn’t get upset).
I appreciate your promoting the “The Bitter Defrocked Apostates” on your website – it is grrrr8 advertising! If you are interested in joining, let us know on Tony’s blog.
Rock on!
MWM
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