Tom Cruise

Brawny Toilet Paper Lumberjack Finally Gets His Big Break; Appears in Same Ad Space as Tom Cruise.

Brawny Toilet Paper Lumberjack Finally Gets His Big Break; Appears in Same Ad Space as Tom Cruise.

After decades of hard work as the Brawny Toilet Paper Lumberjack, Scientologist Brad Whypingass of Los Angeles finally got his big break when he appeared in the same ad space as Tom Cruise.

Whypingass, 37, snagged the part of the Brawny Toilet Paper Lumberjack many years ago. He credits Scientology Study Tech with helping learn his craft as a celebrity pitchman for toilet paper.

Brad chuckled about the irony of the Ideal Orgs having no toilet paper when he gets all he wants for free as part of his deal with Brawny. “No soggy bottoms at my home,” Brad said. “But it’s all soggy bottoms at the Ideal Orgs due to the massive GI crash.”

I’m the Top Gun of Toilet Paper,” bragged Brad.

1 reply »

  1. Hey, as a scientologist, Brad should know that appearing in the same ad space as Tom Cruise automatically promotes him to Top Dawg. Poor Tom, upstaged by a fellow bug being.

    Like

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