Church of Scientology leader David Miscavige has irrevocably declared himself Pope Miscavige and will become the Vicar of Christ on Earth during the Papal coronation ceremony to be held at the Vatican on April 1, 2013.
In an exclusive audience granted to Ken Delusion of the Scientology One Global News Bureaux, Mr. Miscavige stated that he had placed the Catholic Church in an Ethics condition of Danger. As Danger is handled by bypassing those in the way of handling the situation, Mr. Miscavige bypassed the dangerously suppressive and Psych-infested College of Cardinals and appointed himself the new Pope.
Following a blueprint he established when he effectively seized control of the Nation of Islam by bypassing Louis Farrakhan, Mr. Miscavige has now taken over the Catholic Church and next plans to put Protestantism in an ethics condition of Danger. All world religions will soon fall like dominoes to the irresistible and miraculous power of David Miscavige, the spiritual mentor of notable thetans such as Tom Cruise, Anne Archer, and Grant Cardone.
This is all for the greatest good, for it is true that the Nation of Islam has gone into straight up and vertical screaming affluence since Mr. Miscavige took over. Graciously, though, Mr. Miscavige has allowed his juniors — including Minister Farrakhan — to take the credit; such is the magnanimous character and generosity of David Miscavige.
Indeed, Pope Miscavige will continue in his generosity by making Louis Farrakhan a Catholic Cardinal, this to give Cardinal Farrakhan a wider audience whereby he he may better promote his book The Secret Relationship Between Blacks and Jews: Volume One. While this book has been called anti-Semitic propaganda by Nation of Islam haters, we in the Church of Scientology believe so very much in Free Speech that we ignore the protests of the ADL.
Just as David Miscavige is bulldozing the R6 implants known as the Koran and the Bible in the Nation of Islam in favor of Scientology, so too will Mr. Miscavige handle the Catholics in such a way that allows them to see that they are caught in an R6 implant called Christianity and that the real truth is Scientology.
As if Mr. Miscavige’s achievements were not already monumental and his labor herculean, we in RTC hasten to add that David Miscavige is also the Fleet Admiral of Scientology’s Sea Org. In his role as Fleet Admiral, David Miscavige controls a force of 50,000,000 Scientology Sea Org members who work dedicatedly each day to put in Ethics on this Planet.
In order to summarize by way of breathlessly concluding, the fact is that David Miscavige has four decades of experience as the ecclesiastical leader of the Scientology religion, a new religion that has grown more in the past five years under his leadership than in the previous fifty years. This uniquely qualifies Mr. Miscavige to become Pope Miscavige.