To allay any concerns on the part of the 4.2 billion Church of Scientology parishioners that Tom Cruise might be leaving the Church, Fleet Admiral David Miscavige ordered New OT VII Tom Cruise to attend the IAS event that was held over the weekend.
The order called for Tom Cruise — who is secretly an Admiral in the Sea Org — to report to the event on time, take a seat in the front row, and wear his Freedom Medal of Valor that COB awarded him. The order further stipulated that Tom Cruise was to refrain from displaying any HE&R (Human Emotion and Reaction) or, “otherwise act in any way that is mordant, gloomy, weepy, or reflects badly upon COB, Scientology, or the Sea Org.”
Fleet Admiral Miscavige’s order was received with great applause by Sea Org members and Scientology parishioners everywhere — including Tom Cruise who publicly thanked COB for putting in his Ethics. “I was really going down the dwindling spiral recently,” the actor said, “and Fleet Admiral Miscavige cared enough to step in and put in my Ethics. That shows how much he really, really, really cares about each and every Scientologist. All praise be unto him.”
As a result of COB’s actions, millions and millions of raw meat wog publics clamored for Scientology services over the weekend. All of the Ideal Orgs reported a 5,000% surge in demand for books and services after the public was reassured that Tom Cruise is still 100,000% committed to Scientology. Pictured below we see throngs of people clamoring to get into the Ideal Org located in Downey, California. This scene was repeated globally at all 512,918 Ideal Orgs: