We in RTC are pleased to announce the mass arrests of 10,000 Suppressive Persons in an SP Dragnet conducted early this morning by OSA security forces.
Those arrested were summarily found guilty of posting entheta online. All of the guilty were beaten and then returned to the Scientology-hating internet ghettos and shantytowns from which they came.
At a press conference held this afternoon, Fleet Admiral David Miscavige declared, “The public is now safe from these 10,000 internet hoodlums, punks and Psych trash! But our work in RTC is not done. We will not sleep, literally, until all SP’s have been located and arrested! Mark my word: We in RTC will shatter Suppression!”
Let this stand as a warning to those who think it is “safe” to attack the Church of Scientology online. Not only is it not safe to attack the Church online, but it is in fact a terroristic crime that will get you fifty years in prison!
If you are an SP, you will be swept up and arrested in OSA’s next SP Dragnet! Of course, you can turn yourself in to OSA and be shown the leniency of a ten year prison term.
What you must do to qualify for COB’s SP Leniency Program:
1. Confess your crimes of attacking the Scientology religion
2. Debrief OSA on your work to destroy the Church of Scientology
3. Turn over all e-mail addresses, chat logs, and e-mails from your fellow SP’s
4. Produce your pay stubs from Big Pharma
5. Agree to be sec checked and/or waterboarded as deemed necessary by the International Justice Chief.