Scientology researcher Dr. Kool de Menthol today announced an historic, epic, and planetary-changing scientific breakthrough that conclusively proves the claim of Scientology: There are body thetans surrounding the host thetan. Ordered by […]
The Rev. Dr. David Miscavige: Off Source is the new On Source!
Speaking today from the set of Nation of Islam Scientology Education (NOISE), at the SMP studios the Reverend Doctor David Miscavige declared, “Off Source is the new On Source!” Explained the Rev. […]
Scientology Super Purification Colon Cleanser
“If you’re stuck on the toilet, then surely you’ll be stuck on your Bridge as well,” declared Dr. Juan Diego San Kool de Menthol, New OTVIII, three L’s completions, OEC/FEBC with gold […]
An Exciting New Eau de Cologne for IAS Patrons!
“COB Pompous Ass cologne is redolent of snobbery and elitism and yet has whimsical undertones of desperation, lies, and impending doom.” — Perfume & Colognes Weekly “It smells like ass.” Ricardo Flavio, […]
David Miscavige Brand Ideal Orgs
Scientology Selling Debt @ 11.75% Interest
Beset by liquidity issues related to a five-year stat crash downtrend, the Church of Scientology today announced the sale of subordinated debentures to the tune of $2.5 billion. The minimum buy-in is […]
Dianetics: Modern Science of Mental Health for Homo Saps
Following the unprecedented success of Guhlaxy Press selling 50,000,000 copies Battlefield Earth at Comic-Con 2016, COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige is having Bridge Publications rush into production a 100,000,000 piece print run […]
COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige Announces ABF
“Entheta is up 3,000%,” announced Captain Ken Delusion, CO Entheta Particles Unit OSA. “Even with all he is doing, and all he has done, COB can’t open new Ideal Orgs fast enough […]
Church of Scientology Announces Tough New “Scientology Pre-Crime Thought Law” in Florida!
“This latest Philboard wouldn’t have happened had the tough new ‘Scientology Pre-Crime Thought Law’ been in place,” explained Ken Delusion, VP of Media Relations for Scientology Media Productions of the Eastern United […]
Scientology Russia
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 