A man dressed in a gorilla outfit and wearing a t-shirt that read “Scientology Matters” ran onto the field during Sunday’s NFL game between the Bears and the Lions. Tackled by security […]
Tom Cruise Opens an Exclusive Chain of Scientology “Puffy Face” Beauty Clinics!
“I love the new me,” said Scientologist Tom Cruise. “The old me had a face that was too thin and gaunt. I looked anorexic. I like the new fuller ‘puffy-faced and overfed […]
The World’s First Scientology OT X Completion!
COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige today announced that octogenarian Scientologist and OSA Subway sandwich operative Noelle North has become the world’s first OT X completion. This stupendous event occurred when Noelle North […]
Freedom Magazine Special Report: The Four Year Rampage of the Underground Bunker
A veritable Internet Fortress of Suppression, the Underground Bunker has broadcast entheta 24/7/365 to a global audience of over-caffeinated wogs for four consecutive Earth years now. But what are the real facts? […]
Dear Bob Jr.
Dear Bob Jr., You father Bob Sr. attended a Scientology event in 1952 at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles where he purchased a copy of Dianetics. Our records indicate that he […]
COB Inna Box
“We in RTC can’t believe how inexpensive it was to hire international superstar Bill Cosby to be the face of our new COB Inna Box™ pudding for Scientologists” enthused Church spokesman Ken […]
Tom Cruise Promoted to Rear Admiral; Given Highest Scientology Award Ever
Scientology Sea Org Fleet Admiral David Miscavige today promoted Captain Tom Cruise to Rear Admiral and awarded him with the Order of the Operating Golden Thetan VIII, the highest medal ever given […]
The Church of Scientology Celebrity Routing Out Sec Check
“With the sudden and unexpected news of Jason Lee’s public announcement that he no longer practices Scientology, COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige has ordered the new Church of Scientology Celebrity Routing Out […]
Now it Can be Told: Hillary Clinton Got Pneumonia After Exposure to the OT Materials!
Hillary Clinton was exposed to the OT materials without the proper set-ups at Flag. As a result, she caught pneumonia and began freewheeling through her implants. Hillary called all of the BT’s […]
RTC IG/J&D Captain HelluvaHoax on Refunds
The Lost Tech of Refunds has been located by RTC IG/J&D Captain HelluvaHoax of ESMB (External Scientology Messengers Bureaux). VWD HH!
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 