Scientology researcher Dr. Kool de Menthol today announced an historic, epic, and planetary-changing scientific breakthrough that conclusively proves the claim of Scientology: There are body thetans surrounding the host thetan.
Ordered by COB to perform scientifically-based research on exec strata to find the why for the massive international statcrash — a statcrash now in its eleventh consecutive year — Dr. Kool de Menthol employed a German made wide-field WWII-era Horton x-ray machine (model 851) to take panographic x-rays to see what sort of debris, radiation, shrapnel, wrong data, false computations, motorcycle parts, or implants were lodged inside the thick, banky, and counter-intentioned heads of exec strata members.
The first x-ray taken of ED INT’s head was shocking for it revealed his skull to be surrounded by a cluster of BT’s who are being skulls! The x-ray showed the skull BT’s putting lines and beams into ED INT’s head! Radiocarbon dating confirmed the BT skulls to be 75,000,000 years old (+/- 10,000 years).
The source of ED INT’s aberrated 1.1 conduct and his attempts to destroy Scientology on a planetary basis has now been located and can be handled in session — but only after the ED INT completes his RPF and makes up the damage he has done to the group.
Dr. Kool de Menthol recommends that all Scientologists get their heads examined immediately.
Categories: OTVIIIisGrrr8!
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 
$cientology is the filtered truth. SMOKIN!
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Scientology is not only smokin’ — it is more like a massive structure fully engulfed in flames so that not even all the engine companies in the world can extinguish the conflagration of straight up and vertical highest evers.
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I think that this is yet another false announcement designed to enturbulate good Scientologists everywhere. Why? Well for one thing, there is mention of ED INT. Any Scientologist in good standing KNOWS that ED INT hasn’t been seen or heard from in years. Just like the President of the Church of Scientology, Church of Scientology Spokesperson, Senior C/S Int, Shelly, and countless other Execs. These Big Thetans are so busy with the expansion of the Church that they do not have time to be visible to the public. Also, there is mention of radio-carbon dating. That is wog bullshit tech at its best??? The real way to find out when something happened, is to use an E-Meter and do a date & locate for full precision. If you don’t believe me, just check out what the Founder hisself says in this article I got off of the wog internet: http://tonyortega.org/2016/08/17/a-rare-gem-from-1968-when-the-daily-mail-tracked-down-l-ron-hubbard-in-tunisia/#more-33328
In this account Ron precisely tells of the time he visited Heaven and is able to date this to the second in reference to Greenwich Mean Time. Take that you ignorant wogs!!!!!!!
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Ms. B. Haven, we in RTC wish to assure you that all of Dr. Kool de Menthol’s findings were verified 47X on a Quantum Mark VIII e-meter by Senior C/S INT.
Furthermore, ED INT himself confirmed the day-tuh as being true for him and therefore it is, by definition, true day-tuh.
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“This is THE monumental never before in the history of this sector breakthrough, and clearly it’s gonna take a while, probably several lifetimes, and a shit load of money,” notes COB. “From evidence so far on ED INT alone, all OTVIII’s are therefore and hereby ordered back to have their heads thoroughly examined.” COB Flagship Order 666.
This is huge, COB has just secured the future of all Scientologists!” Dr. Kool de Menthol said.
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Ronn, this day-tuh is so HUGE that is cannot be contained on Teegeeack alone. The Interplanetary Dissemination Org (IDO) is being created and the fundraise begins now. Stay tuned for details on the IDO.
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Space cooties are real…who’d a thunk it?
Skeptics always figured it was either the demented bull shit ravings of an aged psychotic SciFi writer of no real account, while others theorized the calculated genius of a Genesis story setting up an unending stream of money from a fake religion.
All ye of little faith…repent and be saved. There’s proof in them there pictures.
Head on down to your local org today. Tell ’em Uncle Ronnie sent you.
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Captain Whostolemycog, it is quite true that this scientific discovery is incontrovertible, fully monumental in every way, and that is why COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige has been nominated for a Nobel Prize in Physics. COB is expected to glide to an easy victory. After his Nobel Prize, COB plans to work on further breakthrough research in reverse vectors and flow phenomena on OT III.
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Whatever the problem – including fictional ones – the solution is the same: David Miscavige, the greediest and most evil man on earth, wants your money!! All of it!! Right here, right now!!
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“Rrecommends that all Scientologists get their heads examined immediately.”…FINALLY something that us Wogs and the Scientologists agree on. Dr. Kool de Menthol is a genius.
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