Unimportant “Red and Green Vols” Removed from Course Rooms at Flag

Taking a break from the whirlwind of legal challenges which he is heroically fending off, COB RTC David Miscavige recently conducted an inspection tour of Flag Land Base.

During his inspection, COB repeatedly spotted sets of books in course rooms that he never authorized to be there.

Red.Vols“What are these green and red sets of books?” COB asked Flag Senior C/S Int Davis Jackinov.

“Sir, those are the Founder’s Tech and Admin volumes,” Jackinov replied.

“Well I don’t recall authorizing Flag to place these books in course rooms!,” COB tersely responded. “Get rid of them now!” he ordered.

And with that, the red and green volumes disappeared from Flag course rooms and from all other course rooms in Miscavige Inc. DBA the Scientology religion.

Speaking today on this matter,  Ken Delusion issued a statement in which he declared, “We have COB to thank for the timely and necessary removal of all that ‘old red and green Dev-T clutter‘ from Scientology course rooms.”

“COB has replaced those confusing and contradictory old volumes of blather with beautiful new GAT II RTC-authorized course packs. All of the so-called ‘red and green’ that COB deems necessary for Scientology parishioners to know will be in these course packs. Carry on!”

With the Red and Green gone, Planetary Clearing is now more real than ever!

Come to Flag today!

14 replies »

  1. Red and green symbolize Christmas, a holiday of those slave owning Christians that LRH, the soldier of light, will free the world of when the Marcabians return. So yes, you should get rid of them. I think black and orange, the colors of Halloween (witches, goblins) are more appropriate.


    • Strubl, the post of “COB” is an irrevocable lifetime appointment created especially for David Miscavige, a man so necessary and vital that he holds the very fabric of the universe together.


  2. Seriously? I know this is satire but it rings true…..

    Interesting though that sometimes the tech is green and sometimes red. Where i use it, secularly, it is at a cross over point. I call it purple because if you mix green and red I think that’s what you get?



    • OT8, CSI’s lawyers in Texas are saying that COB merely handles license filings and is not the head of CSI, or have anything to do with it. That was not my impression from reading this site.


    • Actually, Stratmaster, when red and green are combined you get BROWN. Yes, the color of BLUE is needed to turn red into purple, not green. Buy some food coloring & try it yourself! Or, use crayons or colored pencils.


  3. The lack of Green volumes makes a certain amount of sense. A given staff member, after years of study of all the Hubbard “Management Tech” is utterly incompetent and unable to perform their job even when they have read through the Green volumes and all sorts of “hat packs” for their job. Because of this, COB has to do everything in Scientology himself anyway. So COB correctly reasons that if he gets rid of the Green Volumes, people won’t have an excuse to spend a year or two reading all that turgid prose. They can just go directly to work and be as incompetent as they already are, but a year or two sooner! That sort of productivity management is a hallmark of why Scientology expansion is straight up and vertical…


    • For a wog, you certainly have a keen grasp of COB’s very precise reasoning on this matter in the short term. Long term, however, COB will be re-releasing updated and corrected new red and green vols in a few years, possibly 2018. These greatly improved red and green vols will have enhancements such as GPS tracking and SP proof inks.


  4. Are you saying that the Red and Green volumes will reappear when the semicolons have been removed and the faithful have forgotten that they ever existed?

    We marvel at COB’s marketing genius. He has truly mastered the art of putting old wine in new bottles!


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