List of Suppressive Persons:
- Flag C/S: Handling David Miscavige Engrams
- Do Not Murder Your Friends or Family
- Psychiatrist Caught Trying to Smuggle New Top Secret E-Meter Out of Scientology Org!
- Freewinds Lengthened to Accommodate the Enormous Demand for Scientology
- Scientology: Now Hiring Really Bad Elvis Impersonators as Fundraisers!
- Mark Zuckerberg Apologizes to Scientology; Promises to Delete all Entheta on Scientology from Facebook
- Scientology Leader David Miscavige Comments on Tom Cruise’s New Movie Mission Impossible Fallout
- Facebook Stock Price Hammered Due to Its Attacks on Scientology!
- US Federal Judge James Whittemore Approves of Scientology’s Use of the Guillotine to Behead SP’s
- Scientology Warning: Marijuana Was Created Eons Ago by Alien Botanical Psychiatrists! Don’t Use Xenu’s Weed!
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Tag Archives: fraudImage
We in the Church of Scientology firmly resolve to be a fully Ideal Church in every way in 2018. We therefore make the following resolutions:
1. We will raise all prices 4000%
2. We will savagely destroy the internet and all other sources of entheta.
3. We will spy on more SP’s than ever before. We are spying on you right now.
4. We will tap the phones and hack the e-mail accounts of all SP’s.
5. We will mail COB’s Ecclesiastical Dildos to everyone we hate.
6. We will make insane videos attacking the Psychs, SMERSH, the CIA, Interpol, the Marcabs, Big Pharma, the Martians, and everyone else who is trying to stop Scientology.
7. We will erect a 1000 foot tall statue of COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige in Hollywood. This will be the tallest statue in the world.
8. Scientology Media Productions will broadcast something in 2018. We’re not sure what or where, but SMP will broadcast something. It will be much better than Leah Remini’s Emmy-winning show Scientology and the Aftermath.
9. We in RTC will immediately hand an SP Declare to any Scientology celebrity who brings Scientology into disrepute. We will no longer coddle these horrific monsters.
10. We will stop the godless Russian Communists from raiding our Orgs every other week. What the Russians call “financial crimes and fraud” we call the 100% correct application of Scientology:
“Dianetics helped me be a better dominatrix,” Joy explained during her recent appearance on Scientology Media Production’s new show Keeping Up With Joy.
“COB RTC David Miscavige personally selected me to be Scientology’s International Goodwill Ambassador after Jenna Elfman’s disaster on Imaginary Mary. And Kirstie Alley? COB told me she was a No Case Gain and to distance myself from her as far as possible.”
“And stay a million light years away from that degraded being Danny Masterson!” COB warned me.
“As Scientology’s International Goodwill Ambassador I take the various mocks up I’ve created very seriously. After all, identity politics are very important to me: I am a Floridian, a Native American, a Christian, a Grammy considered signer, a working professional and whatever else I need to be. I can put on any disguise in order to get what I want. Wogs are really easy to fool.”
Joy Villa then asked the ladies a very provocative question:
When asked if she wanted to add anything, Joy Villa said, “I want to thank COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige for making this all possible. Thank you COB. Thank you sir!”
Princess Joy Villa Files Emergency Supreme Court Action to Be Declared a Native American Resident of Minnesota
“With the resignation of Senator Al Franken of Minnesota, Scientologist staunch lifelong MAGA Republican Joy Villa filed an emergency petition with the US Supreme Court to be declared a resident of Minnesota,” said her political adviser Greg Mitchell of the Mitchell Firm. “Joy Villa should be appointed immediately to fill Al Franken’s vacant seat. As a Choctaw-Cherokee-Iriqouis-Navajo-Blackfeet Native American woman and a dear friend of Jared Kushner, Ivanka Trump, and Steve Bannon, Princess Joy Villa is uniquely qualified to replace Al Franken.”
“COB today congratulated Scientology phony PR front group STAND for reaching a milestone of 10,000 fake members,” Ken Delusion announced.
“These mocked up Scientologists now outnumber real Scientologists,” Delusion noted. “Which goes to show that Scientologists can create new and better realities, get the best parking spots, put out intention beams to get green lights at intersections, and postulate new Scientology parishioners where none actually exist.”
“It’s not fraud, it’s OT Magic!” enthused Delusion.
“And thanks to a new IAS grant, STAND can now purchase another 10,000 stock photos to use as STAND members. It really is straight up and vertical expansion in Scientology,” Delusion rhapsodized, his eyes glazed over and his smile fixed as if he were in another of his phantasmagorical and maniacal trances.
Finally folks, let’s have a big hand for our STAND members, both fake and real, as well as COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige! VGI’s all around for sticking it to the SP’s!
COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige was called the “big cheese” by the unfunny joker & degrader Conan O’Brien. Scientologists — both real and Stock Photo Scientologists — have protested to Conan O’Brien:
The Conan O’Brien Show
Burbank, CA 90068
Dear Mr. O’Brien,
I read the press today about your recent show with Leah Remini…Having watched the segment, I was especially disappointed by some of the gratuitous comments you made in interviewing Ms. Remini, notably a snarky reference to the Church’s leader as “the big cheese,” and questioning Ms. Remini on why the Church “is not suing” her… I found it personally offensive and I was embarrassed for you.
First, COB is neither big nor is he a cheese. COB is 5’1″(129.5 cm) and is made of substance that, while having the consistency of a warm and lumpy melted cheese on a hot summer day, smells far worse and is often found on the bottom of shoes.
Second, Catriona McKenzie is a stock photo Scientologist, i.e. she is not real and is rather a completely fake Scientologist used by STAND. But that’s not the point. The point is this: If Catriona McKenzie were a real Scientologist she would be outraged!
Third, we in the Church of Scientology have not sued Leah Remini because that would risk Mr. Miscavige being deposed in what would surely become a fishing trip into what critics have unfairly characterized as his “criminality, lies, perjury, and violence.” Simply put, Mr. Miscavige could never get a fair hearing in a wog court where savagely beating one’s acussers is not allowed as we understand the matter.
COB has been lampooned and parodied by many suppressive persons. Unfortunately, even in this age of cheap and unlimited bandwidth, bandwidth limitations prevent us from naming and shaming these millions of people who have chortled at COB and alleged that he is both a clownish incompetent buffoon and a violent self-aggrandizing narcissist.