“The Church of Scientology faces critical situations in South Africa,” Church spokesman Ken Delusion announced today at a news conference. “As a result of these these very critical situations,” Delusion commented, “”COB […]
“The Church of Scientology has a magnificent new Cathedral in Florida,” exclaimed Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “One of the more dramatic sculptures inside of our Cathedral,” Delusion noted, “depicts a translucent thetan […]
We in RTC have just declared the entire Church of Scientology PTS to RTC, this after the major statcrash in sales of the following: Basics GAT II services Ultra Mark VIII e-meters […]
All heads of state have acronyms: * The Secret Service acronym for the President of the United States is POTUS. * The Church of Scientology acronym for the Pope of Scientology is […]
Speaking today from a packed news conference at the Howard Johnson’s in Comal County, Texas, Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion expressed the collective moral outrage of the world’s 12,000,000 Scientology parishioners. “In a […]
COB RTC David Miscavige’s giant circus tent has served its epic, incredible, and planetary-changing destiny as the launching pad of GAT II. GAT II is now in highest ever affluence and is […]
Scientology researchers assigned to OSA Computer Unit Network Team S have located the lunatic fringes of the internet. Internal documents reveal that Google routes all digital traffic generated by unemployed bloggers, crackpots, […]
SINO! The mere sound of this filthy word brings a sneer to Captain Miscavige’s face. “Scientologists In Name Only disgust me,” Captain Miscavige said. “These people pay lip service to the Church […]
US Customs officials at the Port of Los Angeles last week ordered 250,000,000 new Scientology Mark VIII e-meters returned to China, this after mistaking the distinctive Scientology electropsychometer for the Hasbro Easy […]
The same lithium ion battery overheating problem plaguing the Boeing Dreamliner has now affected Scientology’s new Ultra Mark VIII e-meter. “The Ultra Mark VIII was designed with lithium ion batteries in order […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 