Tom Cruise Opens an Exclusive Chain of Scientology “Puffy Face” Beauty Clinics!

tc-botox

“I love the new me,” said Scientologist Tom Cruise. “The old me had a face that was too thin and gaunt. I looked anorexic. I like the new fuller ‘puffy-faced and overfed Flag OT‘ look. My new look says I’m sessionable, upstat, and winning in life!

“I want others to have the same wins I had. That’s why I’ve  opened a new chain of exclusive Scientology puffy-faced beauty clinics.

“Called Mr. Tom’s of Beverly Hills, my new beauty clinics use the exact Scientology beauty-implanting technology of BT-injections, Botox, mega-niacin fillers, and glycol-alchohol injections which preparation is guaranteed to pick up a thetan. All of these combine to create a new standard in beauty: The puffy-faced OT!

“I feel fab, fit, and fifty-four!”

tc-faces

3 responses to “Tom Cruise Opens an Exclusive Chain of Scientology “Puffy Face” Beauty Clinics!

  1. “Sessionable”; hilarious 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. From the C/S notes for OT IX:

    EP: Subject at cause over their own face.

    http://img.memecdn.com/got-something-on-my-face_webm_1079456.gif

    Liked by 1 person

  3. COB wants a puffy face too!! But he plans to get it by drinking expensive scotch and chain-smoking!!

    Liked by 1 person

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