“Say goodbye to Scientology’s old standard hand cream and say hello to the COB’s new Scientology hand cream and lube!” announced Flag spokesman Ken Delusion.

“Dr. Hubbard long ago realized that hand cream was needed to ensure a vital hand-to-can connection during auditing. A layer of hand cream insures that the cans of the e-meter can detect engrams, BT’s, implants, areas of bypassed charge and so on,” explained Capt. Delusion.

“Just as COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige introduced the new Ultra Mark VIII e-meter which was a 50,000x improvement over LRH’s old e-meter, COB has now introduced his new Ultra-Glide Scientology Hand Cream and Lube for use in auditing and personal hygiene!”

“COB’s new Ultra-Glide hand cream is a 50,000x improvement over the old standard hand cream. When combined with the Ultra Mark VIII e-meter, COB’s new Ultra-Combo offers Scientologists a 100,000x improved auditing experience!

Ultra-Glide Scientology Hand Cream with the IAS discount is only $129.00 per bottle. Ships only in the convenient 12-pack carton!