Why the Church of Scientology Full Page Ads Attacking Alex Gibney Failed

techThe full-page ads failed miserably.


We in RTC conducted brutal all-night sec checks on OSA personnel and have obtained the following confession. We are making this confession public for all members in good standing of the Church of Scientology.

OSA Public Confession

Yesterday, we in the Church of Scientology Office of Special Affairs (OSA) caused to be placed full-page ads in the New York Times and the Los Angeles Times.

captain-david-miscavigeCaptain David Miscavige had nothing to do with these ads. He was traveling in his capacity as a global ecclesiastical leader to the hotspots of the world.

Captain Miscavige brought calm to the scene and restored order by assuring the peoples of these lands that something can be done about it, namely a $360,000 auditing cycle delivered standardly in an Ideal Org.

Adding up all of the monies and personnel expended in our efforts to place these ads, we in OSA wasted $750,000,000 of Church monies in our effort to expose and attack the Psych-funded Alex Gibney and the CIA front group HBO.

These ads failed and caused the Church of Scientology and Captain Miscavige to be brought into disrepute. We in OSA hereby confess our hidden wholetrack crimes and evil purposes to put sabotage on Captain Miscavige’s lines.


OSA.RecruitingThe ads failed because we in OSA were counter-intentioned to Captain Miscavige and allowed semicolons, bullet points, and a decidedly creepy and lurid pseudo-intellectual prose to be placed into the ads.

We fell into a criminal tabloid valence and came off looking like idiots and brought mockery upon the Church and Captain Miscavige. We are Suppressive Persons (SP’s) in every sense of the term.

We in OSA admit  and confess that we were sent in by the Psychs to destroy Scientology organizations. Had not Captain Miscavige detected and stopped our criminal activities and wholetrack reign of terror we would have continued to destroy Scientology organizations from deep within.

Captain Miscavige will now have to step in and take over the Alex Gibney-HBO cycle and make it go right. But isn’t this always the case? Doesn’t Captain Miscavige always have to step in and make it go right because he is the only one who can actually get anything done? Yes, that is the case.

We in OSA, as a group, have signed papers indicating our desire to be given a second chance by voluntarily entering the Rehabilitation Project Force (RPF). We enter the RPF of our own free will and thank Captain Miscavige for this second chance. We hope that years, or decades, or hard labor and grinding daily sec checks will purify us as thetans.


6 replies »

  1. Welcome to RFP OSA. I hear they let you get some sleep there so you are student able and seasonable. I’m sure that’s probably why you did it. Your 24/7 monitoring of “bitter defrocked apostates” blogs had to be taking a toll on you.


  2. I knew COB couldn’t possibly have anything to do with footbullets of that magnitude!!!! With those OSA traitors gone, COB will show HBO who’s the boss!!!!!!!! Gibney will be working at Walmart once the Pope of all Popes is finished with him!!!


  3. Well ya know these kind of things happen when you don’t use the “Whole Track Sec Check” on someone early on in the game. I got some of the new updated parts of the rundown designed just for finding evil intentions against COB.

    Saint Hill Manor, East Grinstead, Sussex
    Central Orgs
    Tech Staff

    (HCO WW Sec Form 4)
    For processing use only. Use only about midway on Routine 3 and from then on.
    (These questions have been contributed by Jan and Dick Halpern.)

    Whole Track Sec Check COB ENTHETA VERS

    HCO WW Sec Form 4.
    Have you ever enslaved a population to undermine COB?
    Have you ever implanted COB?
    Have you ever sacked a city COB was in?
    Have you ever sunk, or otherwise destroyed, a non-combatant vessel of COB?
    Have you ever abused hostages, or prisoners belonging to COB?
    Have you ever ordered, or yourself committed genocide without COB’s referral?
    Have you ever annihilated COB?
    Have you ever poisoned food or drinking supplies of COB?
    Have you ever strangled COB?
    Have you ever deliberately spread disease to COB?
    Have you ever degraded a religion run by COB?
    Have you ever warped an educational system denying COB’s Golden Age Study Tech?
    Have you ever deprived people of COB?
    Have you ever committed a murder of COB?
    Have you ever destroyed a culture of COB?
    Have you ever forced COB into an undesired beingness?
    Have you ever stolen a body from COB?
    Have you ever destroyed an economy where COB’s money was?
    Is anybody seeking to discover your whereabouts besides COB?
    Have you ever violated a nation’s neutrality to mess up COB’s lines?
    Have you ever broken a treaty to make COB look bad?
    Have you ever blanketed bodies for the sensation kick without sending them to the RPF under COB’s referral?
    Have you ever upset an ecology COB was a part of?
    Have you persecuted COB’s religious or political beliefs?
    Have you ever interfered with COB’s free flow of trade?
    Have you ever been a crook to COB?
    Have you ever obliterated a language COB spoke?
    Have you ever stamped out a religion of COB?
    Have you ever deliberately trained COB in untruths for power, or profit?
    Have you ever defiled religious places, persons, or objects of COB?
    Have you ever practiced terrorism against COB?


    • These questions are far more, far more relevant than that old squirreled sec that mentioned something about having unkind thoughts toward Mary Sue. I’ve never heard of anyone by that name and can’t imagine what possible connection she could have to Scientology.


      • Christmas! I read on almost all of those! For the longest time, I’ve argued that running out O/W is one of the most important actions on the Bridge. Not one of my auditors changed anything to accommodate my request to look at O/W’s. Now I stumble upon this sec-check. It is interesting that the Co$ has so butchered sec-checks that no one in their right mind would agree to one, let alone ASK for one. As testament to my dumbness, or the dumbness of thetans in general, it occurred to me that there are some questions I would add to that list to run some O/W’s, but it did not occur to me how simple it could be to run O/Ws! And it is not easy to add questions – the mind seems to go into “justifier mode” or “Um … I don’t know” mode or something, and sort of refuses to think when I set about adding questions. E,g,

        Have you ever betrayed a close friend?
        Have you ever intentionally broken someone’s heart?
        Have you ever maligned your own family?
        Have you ever abused a member of your own family?
        Have you ever disrespected a parent?
        Have you ever disrespected a teacher?
        Have you ever destroyed works of art?
        Have you ever abnegated an important responsibility?
        Have you ever slain an unarmed intellectual?

        There is a list of overts in red vol III – now I think I know how to use it.

        P.S. I am a trained solo auditor and have completed OT III and Solo NOTs. This may be one heck of a stupid post, but I still hold, from my own experience, that running O/W’s is a sure-fire case gain, and it is an almost instant increase in scope of awareness and abilities (as well as huge relief, even if the “cops from ten galaxies” (LRH) ARE still after you). I know there must be other solo auditors who read here, and some who are being audited.


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