“Alex Jones’ Reactive Mind incurred a massive and staggering engram after a jury ruled that the Infowars Truther must pay a total of $49.3 million in compensatory and punitive damages,” said Scientology […]
David Miscavige’s Monumental Technical Discovery: Boarded Up Orgs = No Red Tags, No Missed F/N’s, Etc.
“COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige’s order to board up Ideal Orgs across the US has resulted in a 100% end to the chronic and endless auditing errors and mistakes at the Ideal […]
Say Yes to Scientology! Say No to Deadly Vaccines!
It is a proven fact that only Scientology can help you. Vaccines are full of deadly dead viruses and are designed by the Communist-Chinese-controlled World Health Organization to kill everyone in the […]
Real Scientologists Demand Cash Auditing Subsidies from the US Government
“Social welfare programs that give billions of dollars to poor people are bigoted and hateful because they discriminate against Scientologists,” declared the new STAND League Executive Director Mr. Ken Delusion. “For too […]
Harvey Weinstein Turns to the Scientology Celebrity Centre for Help
“Disgraced Hollywood honcho Harvey Weinstein has turned to the Church of Scientology’s Celebrity Centre for help,” reported Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion. “Mr. Weinstein is currently staying in the penthouse at the Celebrity […]
Scientology Offering Emergency Auditing to Handle Engrams Caused by Donald Trump
When it was announced on live television that Donald Trump had won the US presidential election, billions of people around the world immediately collapsed into alternating bouts of uncontrollable rage, sobbing, and […]
Hillary Completes OT III at Flag!
Hillary had problems at Flag with the OT III materials, but once we handled her crashing misunderstood on BT’s she F/N’d and attested to having completed the level.
Captain David Miscavige Orders the “OT Obesity Epidemic” Terminatedly Handled
“Captain David Miscavige has ordered the ‘OT Obesity Epidemic’ in the Church of Scientology terminatedly handled,’” declared Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “Accordingly, Captain Miscavige has appointed Captain Stayta Kleer as Obesity Dictator. […]
Why the Church of Scientology Full Page Ads Attacking Alex Gibney Failed
The full-page ads failed miserably. Why? We in RTC conducted brutal all-night sec checks on OSA personnel and have obtained the following confession. We are making this confession public for all members […]
Announcing Flag’s “All You Can Audit” Special!
“Folks are just so doggone crazy about those “all you can eat” specials at wog restaurants,” observed Dr. Eldon Weiner, CO Marketing Development, Flag Land Base. “The Olive Garden offered its a […]