Tag Archives: OSA

Reverend Bob Tilton Handles Scientology & Pulls Marty Rathbun’s Withhold

Scientology Media Productions new show “The Troika” smashes all Scientology broadcasting records!

Scientology Media Productions’ new show The Troika breaks all Scientology broadcasting records by averaging 1200 views per episode.

“With an investment of $100,000,000 in SMP’s facilities, the 22 episodes of The Troika aired to date have vindicated COB’s strategy of going straight to YouTube and skipping wog television networks,” said VP Ken Delusion of SMP Programming. “And more to the point, the questions about Marty’s sanity have only fueled interest in the show as viewers tune in to see what Marty will concoct next. Because he is a walking cluster, one never knows which Marty will appear on any given episode.”

“Some are already favorably comparing Marty’s long-winded, irrational, and conspiratorial bloviations to the gold standard prose Danny Sherman pens for David Miscavige’s six hour speeches.”

Caved In Weakling Scientologists Engaging in Deindexing Stories from Google

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It has been brought to our attention in RTC that Scientology OT’s are having articles about their involvement in Scientology deindexed (removed) from Google. This is a very BAD INDICATOR that means two things:

1. These theetie-wheetie dilettante Scientologists have no confront and are ashamed of being publicly identified as Scientologists. This is why they use attorneys to demand that Google deindex articles in which they are identified as Scientologists. COB has confront. He never has Black PR or entheta articles about him deindexed from Google. So why do these publics? Why are their necks so precious?

2. Scientologists who have had Google deindex articles are at -8.0 on the Tone Scale as they have gone into hiding. Their downward spiral continued to -10.0 where they have become objects, specifically they have become their IAS trophies. Predictively, they will next become -20.0 which is nothing.

We in RTC think less of the Bob Duggan’s of the world who get caved in by articles about them being Scientologists and thus engage in deindexing rather than standing up and confronting the Isness of, say, having shipped one’s kids off to Scientology Africa in exchange for a large donation to the Ideal Org in Jo’burg.

We in RTC order problem Sea Org members shipped all over the world into miserable hellholes, Class 5 Orgs, body routing, and even into the RPF. This movement of problem people is  neither an overt nor a sordid subject. This is what we want Scientologists Simone Hafenmeyer, Dennis Romeiser, and Simone Lorenzen of Germany to know.

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Secret Scientology Plot Exposed!

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Fleet Admiral David Miscavige Orders Scientology Security Forces to Stand Down in Clearwater

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After an intense 48 hour manhunt and dragnet conducted by over 1,200 members of Scientology’s security forces, it has been determined that Tony Ortega was not in Clearwater. Nevertheless, the threat of his mere presence in Clearwater resulted in a DEFCON 5 red alert and the deployment of all available security forces. Following the stand down order, Scientologists may safely leave their panic rooms and return to their course rooms.

“Flag Land Base is safe once again thanks to valiant efforts Fleet Admiral David Miscavige to safeguard Scientology,” said Church spokesman Captain Ken Delusion, CO of the Parishioner Action Response Allied Network Operational International Agency (PARANOIA).

“PARANOIA is in constant action within Scientology,” emphasized Delusion. “It is a dangerous world out there and PARANOIA is, for the Scientologist, all that stands between danger and safety. For this reason, Scientologists must double and triple their IAS donations to keep Scientology’s PARANOIA fully funded. The OSA Staff at the Scientology PARANOIA control center tracks all SP’s 24/7/365 and is ready to launch a full scale response as happened over the weekend when a possible Ortega sighting was telephoned into the PARANOIA Crisis Center.”

Scientology, Hamburgers, and Sea Org member Johnny Fontaine

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Dwayne Dooley, a local non-Scientologist who lived in the Flamingo Apartments in Silver Lake, sat eating his spicy Cajun burger and french fries at the Ideal Pacifica cafe.

Sea Org member Johnny Fontaine, who badly needed a stat, was chatting up Dwayne about the many virtues of Scientology. Johnny had already found Dwayne’s ruin and that was women. Dwayne was a loser with women. They didn’t like his beer belly, yellow teeth, grimy hair, fast food logo tattoos, chronic flatulence, his overall lack of personal hygiene, the fact that he lied about almost everything, and of course his long arrest record for petty crimes — mostly public intoxication.

Johnny Fontaine promised Dwayne that Scientology could help.

Scientology already liked Dwayne because, as Johnny Fontaine had learned, Dwayne owned the Flamingo Apartments he had inherited from his uncle Dick Dooley who had died the previous year in a freak accident at Del Taco. The story had made the local news. Dwayne Dooley had also inherited Dooley Financial, the Southland’s leading loan sharking high interest payday loan company. Dwayne Dooley, worthless as he was, was worth millions of dollars.

Johnny Fontaine, who had joined the Sea Org after he ran out of money at the Celebrity Centre for auditing and courses that would help him become a famous and wealthy actor like Tom Cruise, was already counting his 10% FSM commission on the $150,000 Clear package Dwayne Dooley said he wanted to buy. That $15,000 commission would allow Johnny Fontaine to purchase a used Moped, a new toothbrush, new socks and underwear, a year’s supply of Top Ramen, and the other things Sea Org members need and want. Indeed, Johnny Fontaine would even be able to afford a sturdy brand name toothbrush. He would be free from the flimsy and cheap toothbrushes he purchased at the .99 cent store on Vermont.

Suddenly, over one hundred black SUV’s filled L. Ron Hubbard Way and hundreds of FBI agents poured out of them. Armed with search warrants, the FBI agents entered all of the Orgs in a surprise daylight raid. “What the hell is going on?” Dwayne Dooley asked Johnny Fontaine.

“It’s just another FBI raid,” Johnny Fontaine calmly assured Dwayne Dooley. “The FBI is after us because we have the secrets of the universe they don’t want you to know about. For example, the British nobility are actually reptilian shapeshifters whose goal is to enslave the world using Psych drugs, diet pills, and rose-scented perfumes in beauty products and clothing.”

Johnny Fontaine knew this was verbal tech he had read in David Icke books, but it was true for him and he had 70% complete certainty that this was probably what the OT levels were really all about. After all, so many of the older chain smoking OT’s in AOLA were haggard and wrinkled and had lizard skin. He knew they had to be part of the conspiracy of reptilian shapeshifters who had infiltrated Scientology to ruin the real states of Clear and OT.

Johnny Fontaine knew when he became an OT he would blow the lid off this conspiracy and COB would make him the CO of OSA. That was Johnny Fontaine’s dream: To save the Church of Scientology from the reptilian shapeshifters and become best friends with his idols Tom Cruise and COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige.

Lost in his reverie, Johnny Fontaine failed to notice that Dwayne Dooley had fled, leaving behind his half-eaten spicy Cajun burger and french fries. Knowing this would be his last good meal for many years before being RPF’d for blowing a $150,000 reg cycle he wolfed down the food. Johnny Fontaine scanned LRH Way in hopes of finding a way to blow but there were just too many FBI agents and Scientology bicycle security nazis.

After the 54th call that day from Scientology ordering him to return to the Org that evening and complete the reg cycle because the FBI would be done with the raid by then, Dwayne Dooley changed his phone number and hid out from Sea Org regges for several months in the Palms Apartments in Atwood, another property he had inherited from his uncle Dick Dooley.

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Battlefield Earth: Shelly Battles Terl!

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