Vladamir Putin Calls Internet a “CIA Project” – Receives Scientology Medal of Valor

MOSCOW (AP) – “President Vladimir Putin on Thursday called the Internet a CIA project and made comments about Russia’s biggest search engine Yandex, sending the company’s shares plummeting…”

“We in RTC applaud the courage of Russian COB Vladimir Putin for publicly stating what we in the Church of Scientology have long known to be true: The internet is a CIA Project,” declared Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “And for this reason Chairman Miscavige has presented Chairman Putin with the highly coveted Scientology Medal of Valor:

VP

“We in RTC have always known about the  massive electronic implanting apparatus the CIA so falsely calls the ‘internet.’ Indeed, the term itself is a CIA acronym we have decoded:

Internationally
Networked
Terrorist
Enforcers
Ruthlessly
Nuking
Ecclesiastical
Theta

10 responses to “Vladamir Putin Calls Internet a “CIA Project” – Receives Scientology Medal of Valor

  1. Boy those two were made for each other weren’t they?

    And a rather brilliant decoding of “internet” by those in RTC. Man nothing gets past those guys does it?

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  2. Jimbo Threeman

    Congratulations to Russian COB Vladimir Putin on his well-deserved Medal of Valor! I’m sure it will look amazing in the display case next to the Super Bowl Ring he won in 2005. Keep it in the case, Vlad, there are plenty of less prestigious awards to kill people with! Haha, that is joke.

    Of course, Mr. Putin must feel truly honored by this recognition. Most people would kill for the Scientology Medal of Valor! But Putin doesn’t need any medal to kill for: he just enjoys the killing. And we should understand that receiving an award is basically a daily occurrence for a man such as this. To him, accepting a trophy or medal is like drinking a cup of coffee is to John Q. Public. In fact, if Putin so desired, he would simply win all the medals.

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  3. I object, no way is Putin taller than cob. This will lead to war. Every Scientologist will be forced to were a babusca, or is it a bubushka in the near future. Also you will be required to word clear the above named word and wear the student babuska.
    Yeah, the decoding is so great.

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  4. Jimbo Threeman

    Your comment is awaiting moderation.
    Please allow me to correct and atone for whatever I may have done to fall from your good graces and down into this pit of relegation! Please, sir, I beg this of you!

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    • Jimbo Threeman, it appears Disqus auto-KR’d you for your hidden crimes and assigned you the lower condition of “Awaiting Moderation.”

      “Awaiting Moderation” is .0000009 on the Tone Scale and is a very dire and dangerous place to be. You need to immediately write up your O/W’s, complete GAT II as ordered, turn in the names of enemies, and donate $35,000 to the new Great Hall of Exact Data fundraising project and you will be in good standing once again.

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      • Jimbo Threeman

        Thank you so much for your mercy. I am such a fool, I was not even aware that I was walking around with hidden crimes. But you have shown me the path out of my “Awaiting Moderation” condition and you have spared me great embarrassment. Thank you so much.

        I have already begun the written portions of the steps you have provided, and I am making great progress. I do have one question about my donation to the Great Hall of Exact Data, and please know that I’m not accusing you of making an error. But I am wondering about the figure as it is typed, and if there’s any chance at all that maybe the comma was supposed to a period? It would make it a lot easier, that’s all. Please don’t hit me.

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  5. This is FANTASTIC news!!! May I just say, I´m SO PROUD to be a scientologist!!! There has never been a better time to be a scientologist than right now! From the very beginning I felt an instant attraction to Putin and I just knew, from the way he handles situations, that deep down in his heart he was a scientologist. Now it´s official! Noone deserves that medal more than Putin……oh, and Tom Cruise of course!

    This is a turning point for Scientology! And I predict that in the near future world leader upon world leader will stand up on that stage together with the greatest leader of all, our own COB, and receive Medals of Valor for being constantly alert and willing to fight back – finally making planetary clearing a reality!

    CONGRATULATIONS COB and Mr. Putin!!! You have my full support!!! May God bless you both!!!

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  6. Why, thank you OTVIIIGrrr8! It´s always a pleasure to comment with so much good news on your blog. I want to ack you as well for all the good work you do. This is my favourite blog and it never fails to cheer me up and look on the bright side of things!

    Like

  7. I totally voted for Putin, too.

    Like

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