14 replies »

  1. We’re beginning to have our suspicions about you, OTVIIIisgrrr8. We smell a CICS, possibly even a PTS or SP vis-a-vis COB if you’re posting such disturbulating* entheta as this on the Interwebs. Yes, we of the IAS demand to know just WHY you haven’t been appreciative enough of Mr. Miscavige’s sterling efforts on your behalf, OR raised your status lately… WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES?!

    (* Recent intensive research by RTC Chairman Mr. David Miscavige for GAK II has revealed that the word “disturbulating” was consistently misprinted as “enturbulating” in all LRH materials until recently, due of course to previously unsuspected hidden SP influences among proofreaders).


  2. “A very Senior Executive was sent to be served refreshment in the Bridge of the Freewinds for not bouncing up for the Standing Ovation for Miscavige.”

    I’m not sure if I read that part correctly, and I don’t know how to rewind internets, but that doesn’t seem like a bad deal at all. Basically, you can remain seated and do nothing with your hands, which is much better than having to stand and do something with your hands… and for that alone you win a free cruise aboard an awesome boat? I’ll take that deal every day of the week and three times on Sunday.

    Maybe that’s the real reason SPs are always criticizing COB RTC. They themselves would not enjoy a free cruise, so nobody else should. They are probably “land people” with a debilitating fear of water. And that’s okay, I guess, but quit complaining about it. A lot of ethical people do like water and boats and cruises. So just shut up, all you suppressive aquaphobes.


  3. A full quarter of ALL nations on earth just endorsed the LRH mandate for making Human Rights a fact! WOW! This is BIG!!! Most of the peoples on this planet are now finally accepting LRH as their teacher and saviour.

    Scientology is now reaching the far corners of the planet, saving entire nations from doom. In Zimbabwe for example, citizens have been educated by Scientology on Human Rights and more than 190,000 Citizens in Zimbabwe now categorically proclaim that Human Rights (LRH style) is finally alive in Zimbabwe because of the IAS funded distribution of TWTH.

    Moreover, Scientology has travelled 2,124,544 miles across 185 nations and territories, influencing up to a total of 2,4 million people with LRH Tech, while training 350,000 VM, unequivocally proving that something CAN be done about it by bringing basic Scientology to 3,1 million people in the last 12 months.

    This is just a tiny excerpt of the speach COB gave to his adoring followers.
    During the speech, which lasted a total of 5 hours, the audience broke out into hysterical applause every 3 minutes, adulating the Cult Leader. – Or so it was reported.


  4. I’m especially thrilled about the theta news from Zimbabwe. You should know I was Bob Marley in a past life and I wrote this great song about it:

    Hah, I’m just messing with you. I was never Bob Marley in any lifetime.
    But I was the guy with the neckerchief and afro that you can see dancing in this video. I had some moves back then.


  5. “… felonious ineptitude and glib imbecility.”

    Hats off to thee in RTC for a turn of phrase we found thoroughly amusing, as well as completely OT in its originality. Like the gelatto chef who uses fusion to create new gourmet flavors from unfamiliar flavor combinations, we believe ” felonious ineptitude and glib imbecility” will be seen as classic.


  6. Yes, I have a special relationship with Zimbabwe myself. At the beginning of the 80´s I lived for 2½ years in Zimbabwe and worked as a voluntary teacher at a mission school near Gweru. The BEST two years of my life!!!

    At the time Mugabe was applauded as the big liberator and saviour after the liberation.. As we all know, he started suffering from megalomania – just like some cult leaders – and brought the whole country into a situation of starvation and utter poverty, despite the fact, he had taken over a very well functioning and very wealthy Zimbabwe.

    Like other dictators, Mugabe started considering the whole country and all its land and assets as his own private property that he could do whatever he wanted with, the result being that he drained the country of resources and initiative – just like some cult leaders.

    At the time of his take over, the Zimbabwean dollar cost around 1½ American dollars. Today it costs less than a penny. – Go figure!

    And the whole world hates his guts – just like they hate some cult leaders!


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