Is the Church of Scientology in crisis?
Some would say yes.
However, these same doomsayers said the Church was in crisis at this time last year — and yet the Church not only survived, but it has flourished and prospered, this as proven by 37 new Ideal Orgs opened in the past decade.
Ideal Orgs clearly disprove the claim that the Church is in crisis.
Then again, while the Church of Scientology is not in crisis, it is still facing a very serious challenge. This challenge is so serious that Mr. Miscavige had to actually take time away from handling the Semicolon Disaster over at Bridge Publications to handle this problem of greater magnitude.
Specifically, COB had to go on a “Why Finding” mission to find out why both he, and the organization he leads, i.e. the Church of Scientology, are being attacked daily by suppressive entheta from every sector of the Planet.
To make matters worse, these attacks are specifically crafted to appeal to Scientology parishioners. These attacks come in the form of a strange sort of fascinating Hypnotic Entheta that causes Scientology parishioners to stay on the internet for days, weeks, months, or even years reading the supposed “facts” about Mr. Miscavige, OSA, and the Church. And yet, these so-called “facts” are easily proven to be scandalous lies when one has a win in session, peruses the pages of Freedom Magazine, or undergoes a few intensives of spiritually cleansing Sec Checks wherein one is able to confess their many crimes and so unburden their soul.
Using the precise technology of locating and shattering Suppression, COB found the hidden SP’s in, of all places, Comal County, Texas.
In what would have otherwise been a mundane legal proceeding filed by an SP, a wog attorney hired by OSA Legal was heard to say that the Church of Scientology should be sued for harassing the Plaintiff, and, the Church had money to pay damages if there were any.
Mr. Miscavige was shocked. Had he thrown the Church of Scientology International to the wolves? Yes he had. COB thus found the Who: Hidden OSA Rogues had ordered wog lawyers to very precisely implicate the Church of Scientology in dirty deeds.
While this was ostensibly done for “legal reasons” the fact is that these criminal OSA Rogues have placed Mr. Miscavige, the Church, and the Planet itself in grave jeopardy.
“COB has, and quite heroically so, discovered that a tiny handful of OSA Rogues are the ‘Who’ behind the last eight years of intense Planetary Suppression,” Church spokesman Ken Delusion announced today.
“The problem is not Mr. Miscavige and has never been Mr. Miscavige!” Delusion insisted. “If anything, COB has vindicated himself by locating the OSA Rogues who are out to destroy the Church of Scientology!”
“Just as COB had to purge the Church of the Guardian’s Office crims who sabotaged things so badly in the 1970’s, Mr. Miscavige will now act to purge the Church of these OSA crims who have been secretly acting to destroy the Church of Scientology and COB,” Delusion stated.
“Linda Hamel will be the first OSA criminal to feel COB’s wrath!”
“It was a gigantic third dynamic overt,” Delusion concluded, “for COB’s staff to allow the Guardian’s Office criminal Linda Hamel to sneak unnoticed into OSA! Why just look at the damage this rotten old wholetrack SP Psych implanter has done to the Church of Scientology and COB!”