The biggest thing in the past twenty years was not the wog internet or even the confirmation of some little piece of lint called the Higgs boson.
No, the biggest thing in the past twenty years, and more to the point for all of Mankind, is COB’s 1993 defeat of the IRS whereby he gained tax exemption for the Church of Scientology.
No one helped COB.
He did it all by himself.
By gaining tax exemption, Mr. Miscavige singlehandedly triumphed over the forces of Planetary Suppression and saved the Tech, and by extension Mankind itself, from utter ruin at the hands of the Psychs who were out to destroy everything.
Granted, there is the fact that COB consistently surveys as being the “who” who is allegedly ruining the Church of Scientology. While this is most certainly not true and is in fact a lie coming from the chaos merchants online, our Wog marketing experts have nevertheless advised COB to “sell his brand” and reaffirm his central salvationary value to all Church parishioners. Hence, everyone is ordered to watch the video at least ten times this weekend or else!
Look for the Announcement of the Millennium in your mailbox: