David Miscavige Donates $67,000 to Portland Police Dept!

COB RTC David Miscavige is the single most important being in the universe.

He is more important than any head of state, movie star, and certainly far more important than Louis Farrakhan, the Dalai Lama, the Pope, Robert Tilton or any other world religious leader.

So naturally it is no surprise that Suppressive Persons from this and other planets are “out to get” COB.

Proof  that SP’s are out to get COB is abundant on the internet where he and the Church of Scientology are blasted, ridiculed, and pilloried in the public square each day for our relentless efforts to put Scientology Ethics in on a planet crippled and dominated by Psychs, SP’s, and Anonymous cyborgs.

When COB traveled recently to open the Portland Ideal Org, a very high level of security was needed to guard against a marauding posse of lunatics — and here we speak of public Scientologists in the audience who are out to get COB!

Add to this the Wog haters that were looking for trouble in Portland and we in RTC realized that Mr. Miscavige needed the same level of security required by Wog President Brent Obama.

And so it was that the Church of Scientology donated $67,000 to the Portland Police Department’s retirement fund in exchange for sweeping for bombs, hidden SP’s, and lurking Anonymous cyborg terrorists.

We are pleased to report that none were found.

However, noted SP Mark Bunker managed to slip through the Portland PD’s dragnet and enturbulate COB, this by filming Mr. Miscavige’s speech from a nearby rooftop.

We in RTC regret that the Portland PD did not at least rough up Mr. Bunker a little given our $67,000 donation to their retirement fund. Normally, throwing around that kind of cash makes the local police see things our way.

Other than that untoward event, the 25,000,000 Scientologists who attended the event were all delighted and wrote success stories effusive in a veritable avalanche of praise for COB.

4 responses to “David Miscavige Donates $67,000 to Portland Police Dept!

  1. One would think that 67k would at least rent some more accommodating police. Why didn’t the IC ASS (in charge advanced security section) answer for not making it go right? Grand Fleet Enema David Miscavige can’t be whipping up the faithful with his proven ‘Podiumology’ and sniffing for bombs from SPs at the same time.

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  2. Hopefully, no other law enforcement agencies will see COB’s generosity as an opportunity to solicit their own donations. Pinellas County for instance is facing budget cuts…

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  3. I am glad you in the RTC have been paid by some of the most racist and corrupt cops in the PACNW! You two should get along famously! They like to smother “insane” homeless people!(Now THAT is for real “confront and shatter”!) I am so glad you in the RTC gave Portland PD money to line their pockets while they shake down the local narco-crims and antago-crims in this city! Will all that money they may actually catch all those Mexican Terrorist Horticulturists and Veitnamese gangbangers!

    Also, I am DYING to know WHY your NarCONon website says NOTHING about the amount of crystal meth produced by the white folks here in Portland? Or anything at all relevant on meth at all. I thought you in the RTC were “concerned” about psychoactive CNS stimulants! You better put some major drills and “ethics in” on your NarCONon staff STAT! (oh I forgot……..NarCONon has absolutely, zero, to do with Co$………silly me)

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