COB RTC David Miscavige is the single most important being in the universe.
He is more important than any head of state, movie star, and certainly far more important than Louis Farrakhan, the Dalai Lama, the Pope, Robert Tilton or any other world religious leader.
So naturally it is no surprise that Suppressive Persons from this and other planets are “out to get” COB.
Proof that SP’s are out to get COB is abundant on the internet where he and the Church of Scientology are blasted, ridiculed, and pilloried in the public square each day for our relentless efforts to put Scientology Ethics in on a planet crippled and dominated by Psychs, SP’s, and Anonymous cyborgs.
When COB traveled recently to open the Portland Ideal Org, a very high level of security was needed to guard against a marauding posse of lunatics — and here we speak of public Scientologists in the audience who are out to get COB!
Add to this the Wog haters that were looking for trouble in Portland and we in RTC realized that Mr. Miscavige needed the same level of security required by Wog President Brent Obama.
And so it was that the Church of Scientology donated $67,000 to the Portland Police Department’s retirement fund in exchange for sweeping for bombs, hidden SP’s, and lurking Anonymous cyborg terrorists.
We are pleased to report that none were found.
However, noted SP Mark Bunker managed to slip through the Portland PD’s dragnet and enturbulate COB, this by filming Mr. Miscavige’s speech from a nearby rooftop.
We in RTC regret that the Portland PD did not at least rough up Mr. Bunker a little given our $67,000 donation to their retirement fund. Normally, throwing around that kind of cash makes the local police see things our way.
Other than that untoward event, the 25,000,000 Scientologists who attended the event were all delighted and wrote success stories effusive in a veritable avalanche of praise for COB.