David Miscavige: New Bridge for OTXIII and Beyond!

COB RTC David Miscavige today electrified Scientologists with a new breakthrough technical announcement of magnitudes.

“COB does a great deal of why finding,” Church spokesman Ken Delusion explained. “And COB has found the exact why for stalled OT VIII’s, which is to say they are -2 Hope, this because they are all stuck in chronic nattering about the six month refreshers and sec checks at Flag.”

(Freddie Quell ARC broken)

“To remedy the hopeless condition of OT VIII’s, COB has introduced the Purification Rundown and TR’s and Objectives to handle OTVIII’s.

“COB has found that hundreds of hours spent picking up a book or touching a spot on the wall rehabilitates the State of OT and literally brings dead OT VIII’s back to life.”

“OT VIII’s who have done TR’s and Objectives routinely exclaim ‘POW! 1,000 hours of doing TR’s and Objectives blew me away. I never knew how powerful actually feeling the weight and temperature of the same book thousands of times could be! Thank you COB! Thank you sir!”

“Moreover, to raise their necessity level to get onto of OT IX and OT X, Mr. Miscavige has introduced a new “Bridge Zone” called the, “All Orgs Must Be Ideal Zone.”

“A new Grade Chart will be issued as part of GAT 2,” Delusion stated. “COB looks forward to the duplication and compliance of all OT’s if they ever hope to make it to the top of the Bridge.

“This new Grade Chart is evidence of RTC’s superiority over all other forms of  knowledge and wisdom,” Delusion remarked, “and that is why church members give us all of their money.”

7 replies »

  1. I don’t know if you are aware but there were several “Delusions” in the Scientology and the SO. One here in Australia was regarded as our personal Delusion. His name was “Max Delusion” and we were close, but we called the International Spokesperson “Far-Ken Delusion”, it was mostly because he was over the rainbow. He more or less epitomised our beliefs and willingness to follow the directives of COB and RTC. They all descended from an early Dianeticist who failed to continue with Ron when he began his whole track research, her name was Minnie Delusion.

    Hope it helps sort out the issues with Delusions.


    • Yes, Kevin Bloody Mackey, it is quite true that Delusions have long served the Church of Scientology.

      Ken’s aunt Shirley Itsa Delusion proudly helped COB launch the Golden Age of Tech.

      Ken’s twin sisters Certain Delusion and Constant Delusion are key players in helping COB launch GAT 2.

      And of course Ken’s uncle A. Strong Delusion is so legendary in Scientology that he was awarded Ka Khan status.

      And these are just a few of the Delusions in the Sea Org.

      The public Delusions are another story and never cease to amaze us.


  2. “COB has found that hundreds of hours spent picking up a book or touching a spot on the wall rehabilitates the State of OT and literally brings dead OT VIII’s back to life.”

    OTVIII you are a wonderfully, mad, poetic, genius………with a burlwood pen!


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