Church of Scientology Now Selling Babies!

Church of Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion today announced that the Church was selling newborn babies donated by its parishioners.

“It takes a great deal of wherewithal, or money, to go up Scientology’s Bridge to Total Freedom,” Delusion observed.

“It also takes exorbitant sums of  money to raise a child these days, what with the expense of medical check ups, braces, college, and even the risks of having one’s talentless offspring star in a big budget film that flops and becomes one of the worst movies ever.”

“Therefore,” Delusion reasoned, “by donating their newborn children to the Church for us to sell, our parishioners free up all that cash for their Bridge. It is truly a win-win situation for the Church and its members!”

“At present the Church has over fifty babies for sale,” Delusion stated, “so if you are in the market for a healthy newborn, please drop by one of our Ideal Org Baby Farms today. With prices beginning at only $125,000, you are sure to find the exact infant you want to take home and raise as your own.”

“Unsold babies will be fed whole to the OSA witch Donatella Kevenaar, so please help prevent that fate by purchasing a baby today,” Delusion implored the public.

The Church of Scientology has plenty of baby inventory in stock so come on by today!

16 responses to “Church of Scientology Now Selling Babies!

  1. scientology411

    OTVIIIisGrrr8, you’ve really topped yourself this time! Great stuff!




  3. The engrams will fly off the shelves with this sale. I hope you have enough barley water to feed the live stock.


  4. This is truely a modest proposal. Are there still slightly used North Korean models available a discount?


  5. OT8, I’m confused. Your site is a serious site and Ortega’s site is a parody site. Is that correct?


    • Yours is an excellent question jgg2012.

      We’re not playing some minor game on this blog. It isn’t cute or something to do for lack of something better.

      The whole agonized future of this planet, every man, woman and child on it, and your own destiny for the next endless trillions of years depend on what you do here and now by reading this blog.

      This blog is a deadly serious activity.

      OTOH, Tony Ortega’s blog is a suppressive parody written by an invented person who does not exist; Tony being a robot controlled by radio waves from bases on the Moon staffed and operated by a race of evil Reptilians who pose as wog president Brent Obama and other world leaders including the Queen of England.


  6. You’ve gon too far this time you sick F**K! LOL!!!!


  7. How many babies can Donatella eat? Is her necessity level really that high? What if she chokes on a PTS baby?

    If I donated RTC$500,000 would they kindly send me some baby e-meters! Gotta get them prenatal engrams!

    Final question, is it cruel to RPF a baby?


  8. Pingback: Will There Be Room for You in David Miscavige’s Giant New Scientology Circus Tent? | OTVIIIisGrrr8!

  9. Pingback: Church of Scientology Now Selling Babies! | Ex-Scientologists Ireland

  10. Pingback: Ask COB – October 15 2013 | Scientology 411

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