Bernie Madoff: Criminon Success Story!

Through its many social betterment groups, the Church of Scientology touches, improves, and saves the lives of millions of people everyday across the planet. Nowhere is this more true than in prisons where Criminon offers The Way to Happiness to help prisoners become moral.

Actual research has shown that the Criminon’s proven program of moral rehabilitation using The Way to Happiness drops recidivism rates to 6% or less. Given these facts, it came as no surprise to we in RTC when Criminon Executive Director the Reverend Dr. Cecil Murphy announced recently that convicted felon Bernie Madoff became a Scientologist while serving his lengthy prison sentence, a sentence handed down for what Madoff called, “going past really complicated financial words I didn’t understand. ”

In his Criminon success story, Madoff said he was attracted to what he called, “Mr. David Miscavige’s fantastic wealth building strategies.”

“COB makes it seem so effortless to raise a lot of cash; the money for Ideal Orgs just keeps rolling in!” enthused Madoff. “I would like to learn Ideal Org fundraising principles and maybe start doing some kind of business here on the inside. My battle plan is to become an FSM and reg my fellow inmates for the Basics, you know, things that will make a difference in their lives,” Madoff stated during a jailhouse interview with Church of Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion.

“Moreover, if only to underscore the value of the moral principles I learned from The Way to Happiness,” Madoff declared, “I will never ever again accidentally do any crimes. Next time I will look up fancy financial words I don’t understand in a dictionary. Now that I know how to use a dictionary and have read The Way to Happiness, I am ready to re-enter society as a productive citizen.”

Using what he called “a wad of cash I had stashed away” Madoff purchased an IAS Lifetime Membership and so should you.

Bernie.Madoff

28 responses to “Bernie Madoff: Criminon Success Story!

  1. Ur not right!

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  2. No really, this is proof!

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  3. The common denominator of Criminon’s success has been restored self-respect of the inmates themselves, after a review of inmates’ success stories, comments from officials in Juvenile Hall and other prisons internationally.

    Inmates are less aggressive and in better communication with other inmates, their families and staff, resulting in fewer disciplinary problems. This in turn gives less stress to correctional staff and makes their jobs easier.

    Many Criminon graduates have been moved to less secure housing or lower security prisons, thereby saving the state money.

    Of the 267 juveniles who had completed the Criminon New Life Program in Pretoria, South Africa, only 16 have returned to crime and the criminal justice system—a 6% recidivism rate

    A two-year study done of our drug-rehabilitation component delivered by the Second Chance Program in Mexico showed a drop in recidivism to less than 10%.

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    • Amends project?

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    • Do residents of “The Hole” at Gold Base get put through the Criminon program? For that matter has COB ever completed the program?

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      • Golden Era Productions is a wonderful place to work and the members of the Sea Organization and outside professionals who work there are proud of their products, their accomplishments and their fellow team members. We are not unique, as a religious order, in applying the ecclesiastical discipline to members. Any allegation of ‘bars’ being installed to hold people against their will is false and malicious and is denied. The church does not violate any laws in exercising ecclesiastical discipline or anything else.

        Karin Pouw
        International Spokesperson

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      • Exactly. Safety screens installed on doors and windows, with locks, to keep occupants safe from coyotes, gila monsters, and rampant entheta are hardly to be considered “bars”!

        Indeed, are sheep held prisoner, in their enclosures, until it is time for the fleecing? Or are they kept safe, from the vicious predators outside waiting to dine on their tender, needy flesh before the fleecing? That’s all Ms. Pouw is saying…

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    • No way that is the real Karen! But I tip my hat to the trollery of this comment. This is what Karen-bot would say if it … er, uh, she were to actually read this blog.

      But really, I think her circuits would explode first — scilons don’t handle satire, or even recognize it, very well. Especially when it’s well-aimed and sharp, like OTVIIIisGrrr8!.

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      • Inmates eat organic beef. They choose from an array of vitamins to ingest, including potassium pills if they’re feeling dizzy, or bioplasma pills to offset salt depletion. Inmates addicted to heroin can get a massage, called a “nerve assist,” from another inmate. Scientologists believe nerve assists help drugs depart the body.

        In addition to saunas and specific diets, Second Chance focuses on helping inmates communicate more effectively, on the belief that better communication skills will reduce offenders’ need to act out in negative ways.

        Vincent Gutierrez, 29 years old, who has been in and out of jail for drug use since age 13, sat with a group of other inmates working on a series of communication drills that are also based on techniques developed by Mr. Hubbard.

        One drill, called bull-baiting, is designed to help participants learn how to tolerate verbal assaults. Mr. Gutierrez stared into the eyes of another inmate stationed three feet away. As his partner yelled scripted statements at him like “You look like a frog!” Mr. Gutierrez was supposed to remain impassive. Another drill has inmates sit opposite each other, look each other in the eye and read lines from Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland.

        Mr. Gutierrez says the drills have helped him “figure it out the positive way instead of using my knuckles.”

        Mr. Pendery says that by addressing the root causes of drug abuse, his program reduces the number of inmates who return to jail after being released. He says a study shows that the Second Chance program in Ensenada resulted in a drop in recidivism rates to 10 percent from 83 percent over a six-year period. The Mexico program recently closed its doors after losing its government funding, he says.

        Second Chance also saves money because it doesn’t require maximum-security guards and doesn’t administer pharmaceutical drugs. It costs about $55 a day for one inmate in the Second Chance program, compared with about $70 a day for an inmate at the county jail.

        Karin Pouw
        International Spokesperson

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    • Any references to the studies? I’d love to see a description of the study design prior to data collection, and also the N, how the alpha levels were set, and how much time had elapsed to come up with recidivism numbers for the South Africa study.

      The Mexico study you’ve described as a 2 years study. Was that 2 years after completion of the program? (Again, just trying to get an idea of elapsed time for the collection of recidivism data). And this “less than 10%” is compared against what? What is the “drop” from? Other Narconon studies? Or numbers released by government studies in Mexico? Or academic institution studies? To compare to to those, again we’d need to know something about the study designs of each.

      Please provide references; without them these claims are not sensible.

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      • U.S. officials to visit Mexico prison to get look at drug program
        Female legislators meeting in S.D.
        By Enrique García Sánchez

        November 21, 2002

        TIJUANA – About 100 female legislators from the United States will visit the state prison in Ensenada today to see firsthand the results of a program for drug-addicted inmates.

        The state began the program, called Segunda Oportunidad, or Second Opportunity, seven years ago, based on the Church of Scientology’s prisoner rehabilitation program, called Narconon. It is based on the philosophies of the late L. Ron Hubbard.

        According to a recent study conducted by Baja California’s state university, recidivism among the prisoners dropped from 75 percent to 9.5 percent between 1995 and 2001. In that period, of 1,682 inmates who were released, only 196 returned to jail or prison for committing a crime in the state.

        The program’s strategy is to get the addicts to understand and then overcome the personal problems that led them to abuse drugs.

        The program begins with a detoxification process that uses sauna baths, massages, vitamins and proteins to reduce the biochemical effects of the drugs. No medications are used – not even methadone, a drug that reduces the symptoms of heroin withdrawal.

        The program at the Ensenada prison was deemed so successful that it was approved for use two years ago at the state penitentiary in Tijuana. That program was suspended, however, during the recent transfer of prisoners to a new facility at El Hongo, in La Rumorosa.

        Since it began in 1995, the Second Opportunity program has attracted visitors from the United States and other countries. Judge Baltazar Garzón, who presided over the trial of former Chilean dictator Augusto Pinochet in Spain, recently traveled with other visitors to Ensenada and Tijuana to observe the program.

        The program could be heading next to a prison in Colima, and the Guatemalan government has expressed an interest in it, said Francisco Iribe Paniagua, a program representative in Latin America.

        “I believe the program works and could work for any drug-addicted person,” said Iribe, a former police chief of the Baja California capital of Mexicali and former director of the state agency that operates the prisons and tries to rehabilitate inmates.

        The National Foundation of Women Legislators, which counts among its members Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, has been meeting in San Diego this week. About 100 of those on hand plan to travel to Ensenada today.

        From: http://legacy.signonsandiego.com/news/metro/20021121-9999_1m21prisons.html

        Karin Pouw
        International Spokesperson

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      • So there’s a minor newspaper article that talks of a visit and mentions a study…. without any explication of study design or measurement criteria. These results are still uninterpretable.

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    • Wow OTVIIIisGrrr8 you have arrived! You are worthy of OSA copy pasta. This is the big time – Congrats!

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      • L. Ron Hubbard naturally is the source:

        The Criminal College
        an Essay written by L. Ron Hubbard

        Throughout this wide land, wherever one turns, great piles of sullen stone crouch like traps of some giant’s hewing. But no trap ever possessed as many guardians, and certainly no trap ever occasioned as much oratory as is yearly bleated about prisons.

        One of society’s most barbaric survivals, one of the sorriest comments upon the mass of humanity, the prison has been with us since the time the first Eoanthropic chieftain heaved a disorderly dawn man into a damp and inky cave.

        Since that time the routine has varied little, enlivened perhaps in this age and that with the addition of torture, but always known by a few unchanging essentials.

        Any man carries with him his idea of a prison, defining it as a small, poorly lighted cell wherein a person may be restrained from associating with the rest of society.

        Considering the very many ways of accomplishing the fact without resorting to that exact means, and considering also that this small, dark cell remains universally basic, it is strange that no one has tried to arrive at the fundamental fact.

        That fact has always been with us. Perhaps that Eoanthropic chieftain knew, but between his time and ours it is to be doubted that the crude truth has been set down.

        And that truth is crude, perhaps, to our Calvinistic society. It would very likely offend many minds which care more for the conventions than for either truth or the general good.

        But it can be very simply stated. And perhaps because it is so very simple, great psychiatrists and criminologists have cared to overlook it.

        The sentencing of a man to prison is the combined wish of society that that man be returned to the womb from which he came. It is the mass regret that that man was ever born.

        And as long as society indicates that desire, the courts and officers of the law will continue to obey the rule of the multitude and wish, in very serious forms with a very pompous air, that same fact.

        “You are hereby sentenced…” might well be translated into, “You should never have existed in the first place.”

        In the enlightened barbarism of our times, there are those with wit enough to see the stupid fallacy of this. The analogy between a small, dark cell and the womb seems to have escaped the attention it deserves. But it is no interesting little fact like those so dear to Ripley. It is a mountain of facts which would take a century to untangle.

        There is the criminal, standing before the so-called bar of justice. He is a human being with head and arms and legs. He is the fait accompli. There is no use wishing that his father had been more careful. There is no use deploring the fact that nature gave him oxygen to breath and food to eat.

        But still, society wants no more of the fellow. Obviously there is only one thing to be done on the face of it, only one wholly sensible thing. Kill him and let the ministers wonder vaguely if he ever had a soul. However, the crime was not that great. The judge wishes to be rid of him for only a short time, supposing in some lofty and doubtlessly marvelous process of reasoning that a few years in the cell will allow the fellow to again be born as a completely different person. It is to be wondered, then, why judges seem forever angered when the same fellow, five years later, again stands before the bar of justice awaiting another, “Society wishes you had never been born.”

        The masses, whose will the judge executes, have contrived to remain astonishingly in the dark along with most of their psychiatrists, about a host of facts emanating from this rather indecent wish.

        The individual man thinks of a cell simply as a place where the criminal will be held incommunicado until he is finally reborn. It rarely occurs to this individual man that he is actually fostering the practice of placing this one criminal in the society of criminals. That the single criminal contacts very few of his fellow felons outside the prison walls, never seems to have any bearing on the situation.

        It is not a new thought that the criminal meets many of his kind in prison and learns from them many things which he before but dimly suspected.

        Many men in many offices under many chiefs have been busy for many years compiling crime statistics. It is doubtful if the tabulated results are meant to bring any more order into the world. The numbers and percentages are mainly intended to show the public that men are actually tabulating such things and that, therefore, much thought, energy and result is being obtained and hoarded in return for certain salaries to be paid out of the public treasury.

        That something can be done with those figures seems obvious enough. Then, it would seem to follow, why isn’t something done?

        We learn, roughly, that the criminal of today, by a large majority, ranges between the ages of twenty-four and eighteen.

        By applied humanity, perhaps it is possible to understand why a boy at eighteen will turn to crime. Is it possible that it is directly related to the wish of society that he has never been born?

        Oh, certainly not that! It is much too obvious. These things must be couched in polysyllabic sentences by men so overburdened with degrees that they wear out ten pens a day signing their names.

        Certainly there can be no foundation for the idle statement that all true things are the easiest.

        But, just suppose that there is some truth in this. The individual man looks hazily at the rest of society. To himself he is clear and important and very much a unit. But in a haphazard way he believes that all the people around him are different than he. They are all tied together and he is the only person in the world who is wholly alone.

        And because he must live in his own flesh house for more or less three score and ten, he knows he will have to associate with a tyrannical mind perilously close to the end of his nose. Therefore, he never blames himself for anything. If he sinks a hatchet into the head of his firstborn, strangles his wife, rapes the lady of his best friend and then embezzles the funds of his firm for the getaway, he utterly believes himself when he tells the world that he is being oppressed.

        If she takes out her husband’s new car and dents a fender putting it back in the garage, she soars into a tantrum, throws things and feels very abused if her husband mildly cautions her to be more careful next time.

        What, then, is the thought process of an eighteen-year-old boy when his elders show such astonishing lack of good sense?

        He was placed, at the age of five, in a school. And there he was taught, along with his alphabet, that he would grow up to be an important citizen in this world. At home he is usually expected to amount to something when he “grows up.”

        He carries this innocent-appearing virus with him into his teens and, finding himself close to manhood and an important seat in the sun, he allows the germs to breed beyond all hope of inoculation against them.

        And then at sixteen or seventeen or eighteen, uncouth truth rises like a concrete wall before him and he runs into it and bruises himself.

        Experience, in a gagging dose, has informed him that there are only two people in the world who care whether he lives or dies. But he cannot always lean back upon his father and mother for the necessary feeling of importance.

        Then comes a variety of things, never identical from case to case. A third person makes eyes at him and he wants to have money, which is denied him through the regular channels because the world does not care to give him a job. He wishes to appear important or daring among his fellows. He has a real, crying need for money and is hungry or cold.

        That is the extent of his criminality at the moment. He is young and has therefore not had a long and battering experience to tell him that the easiest money is to be gained by the hardest sweat. He is not thinking of himself as a collective piece of society. He is an individual and needs something.

        It is easy for him to credit himself with greater cunning than he actually possesses. After all, he knows nothing of LAW. He has heard of fingerprints only in a detective story.

        Very well, the world has defaulted. He has been gypped. The job he was always led to believe he would get was only a mirage. Therefore everything else is a lie and society is bad in that it gives never a damn what happens to him as long as he stays out of the way.

        Combined with that, he is bored. Life, he does not know, is a very drab and dreary affair as long as man stays on the wide but crowded sidewalk. Thus he steps out and commits his first crime. His hand is shaking so he can’t see the front sight of his rusty .22 pistol. He can only hear the roar of blood in his ears and sounds which were never sounded. He forgets where he should look for the money. He makes too much noise. He can’t control his voice.

        Gasping with nervous exhaustion he runs away and behind closed doors stares at the few tattered bills. Still, they are his by right of possession. In getting them he has obeyed a natural need for excitement or food or clothing or that necessary front before his girl or his friends.

        And now comes the deciding factor in his life.

        The police either catch him or they do not. If he eludes them he may try another “job” or two, emboldened by his first success. But in an astonishingly short space of time he will run up against a “tough one.” In a stickup of park spooners, the man tells him to go to hell and grabs for the gun; the youngster gets away and vows to stray no more. In a filling station, the attendant reaches for a wrench and again the youth flees in terror. In a majority of these cases, the youngster thereupon lays away the .22 forevermore and a few years later looks back with a private grin and perhaps even an uneasy twinge about his “crime career.”

        If he is caught, he is doomed. Standing soaked with nervous sweat, he looks up at the judge in a black robe remarkably like a vulture’s rusty wings. The youth is actually hearing, “You are hereby sentenced…”

        As soon as he can bring himself to believe that this is really life and not a nightmare, he begins to believe the words really were, “Society wishes you had never been born.” Not in those actual words, of course. But the feeling is there.

        From the time he began to think about crime until now, the thought that the world did not want him was but partly felt. The whole impact of that truth strikes him now.

        Society does not want him. He was right!

        In a most lofty fashion, a judge on a bench, wondering what his wife will have for dinner, has completed the metamorphosis of the youth’s ideals.

        He is a ripe freshman for the Crime College. No professor of hooeyology was ever confronted with such an ardent student.

        In the big, sullen pile of gray rock, the youth discovers that there is a strata of society which actually wants him. He has never seen a real criminal before and the actuality awes him. He hears men talk pridefully of stickups. He receives the usual treatment meted out to all freshmen. He’s small time.

        Through the courtesy of the state, in penitentiary or reform school, the youth receives a thorough working over. By the time he graduates, his life work is definitely planned for him. He is a snow-eater or a pervert or a tough case, but most certainly ready, in most instances, to prove himself worthy of the only fraternity which ever took any interest in him.

        There comes a second crisis in his life.

        On his first half-dozen jobs with the friends of his friends, he must assume the most dangerous posts and missions. Therefore he stands an excellent chance of being either shot down or picked up by the vigilant, brave and intelligent police.

        Should he come through this test by fire, he is a wiser man. And as war develops cunning in an “individual fighter” so that he outlasts the rest of his company under any conditions, so does experience serve as a shield for the by now hardened criminal.
        Quite naturally he follows the only profession in which he ever had a thorough training. No matter how many times he is caught, his sense of importance forbids him to think that it will happen again. That he is caught, again and again, is inevitable, just as inevitable as the fact that a parole board will turn him loose.

        He returns to jail as a graduate returns to his alma mater, and there is more truth than wit in that. It is most amazing to listen to these men sit and exchange notes.

        “Thirty-three? Yeah, I was in Leavenworth. Jimmy Fenton was there.”

        “Was he? Well, I’ll be damned. Him and me were in Alcatraz. We had a tough screw there…”

        And equally astonishing is the appearance of these fellows. One kindly old gentleman had an extensive enough list of “jobs” to send him to four leading penitentiaries.

        It is an unhappy failing of the Anglo-Saxon to insist upon a solution being presented with every advanced problem.

        There are many more solutions that the easy, stumbling, stupid one of sending a youngster in his teens to jail. There are enough such solutions to fill an encyclopedia. But so educated or uneducated has the human race become that the return-him-to-the-womb wish predominates to such an extent that most men are unconscious of any other solution.

        Let it suffice to say that discipline instead of criminal education via the prison has changed the destiny of many more men than are willing to admit it.

        One youngster, at the moment, serving four years in the United States Marine Corps (USMC), started his crime career stealing cars and generally annoying the police and public. A judge told him that he would either get two years in the penitentiary or four years in the Marines and for him to take his choice. As a marine he has an unblemished record, has risen by his intelligence to be a corporal and when last seen was studying diverse matters concerning useful endeavor in the civilian world.

        The USMC will probably rise up to a man from the dawn to the setting sun to condemn that exposure. Not many youths have had the luck of that corporal and the cases are pitifully few where a youth had a chance to choose. The corporal had a few tough sergeants at Paris Island [Marine Corps Base] to take all the nonsense out of him and he emerged a healthy, straight thinking fellow.

        There is also the prison colony system, so regrettably abused by France and England. The failure of the prison colony does not lie in its principle but in its application. A sane man will turn mad in French Guiana, even if he be “free.” No human being could survive the jungles of Tasmania when natural hazards are supplemented by overlord keepers with shoot-to-kill orders and unhealthy appetites of their own. There is one prison colony which did survive to a remarkable degree. But the word must be whispered as it is today, though first settled by “criminals” the most crime-free continent in the world – which would seem to dispose of the heredity theory.

        There are more roads to be built, more dams to be raised in these United States than a hundred million men could finish in a thousand years. This implies criminal labor. But is criminal labor to be judged and discarded without a second thought when the conditions under which it is practiced rival French Guiana?

        Can a man keep his self-respect when he is chained by the ankle to his fellow? When a guard stands near with a gun? When no thoughtfulness is shown to him? And last and most important, when his work is labor, not accomplishment?

        There is Alaska, a land of great opportunities but seemingly in great need of a population and willing workers.

        Ah, no, I venture upon dangerous ground.

        Of course the only system is to wish that the malefactor had never been born. The mere fact that he is born and has grown to man’s estate has no bearing upon it whatever.

        Naturally we actually care very little about who forms the rank and file of organized crime. We don’t give a snap of the fingers if our house is robbed or our child kidnapped. Why shouldn’t we board and room and pay the tuition of youngsters in the College of Crime?

        One small fact, if proved, will have no possible bearing upon the situation: If the number of criminals within our boarders has decreased since the formation of the CCC, duly allowing for the natural increase in all ranks of crime bred by the humility of relief and the increased need and suffering of families everywhere.

        No, that would have nothing to do with it whatever.

        We, the people, plead, beg, demand that the practice of wishing stumbling youth had never been born retain its honorable position upon the unquestionably accurate law books of these great and glorious United States, the land where all men are created equal.

        “By respecting others you also gain their respect back. It’s a two-way street. To get, you must first give, and even if you don’t “get” right away, the peace of mind of knowing you have done all you can in a situation is good enough.

        “In my opinion, this is a very worth-while course for anyone, especially those incarcerated.”

        – R.E.C
        Studies
        The Criminon Program Evaluation: Phase I —

        The Urban Institue
        Utah Juvenile Court Case Study —

        FASE

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    • When the data is presented, and spokesperson Karin Pouw is doing a very fine professional job of presenting the data, one can see that both Criminon and Narconon offer real solutions to the real problems that plague society.

      Because Scientology provides effective solutions, we are the subject of attack by Psychiatry and the agents of Psychiatry, particularly and especially “sleeper agents”, i.e.those who were sent in by Psychiatry to infiltrate the Church by posing as ardent Scientologists and who appeared to serve the Church for decades but were actually putting sabotage on our lines.

      Furthermore, inasmuch as all of Scientology’s efforts culminate in addressing the catastrophe that devastated this sector of the galaxy 75,000,000 years ago, it is evident that Psychiatry is connected to the person(s) responsible for perpetrating the catastrophe.

      It becomes apparent therefore that the Agents of Catastrophe in their various guises as reformers, independents, critics. but most notably journalists will do, and are doing, everything possible to harm the Church of Scientology by mocking the specific and known details of catastrophe of 75,000,000 years ago.

      We in RTC are handling matters and will win this cosmic battle being played out here on Earth. But to continue to do so, we need your help. Please make a phenomenal and heroic commitment to the IAS today of $750,000, this by wire transfer if possible. As a token of our appreciation for your gift, we will send you an IAS nylon windbreaker that features an attractive monogrammed logo.

      Thank you.

      P.S. Don’t miss the San Fernando Valley Ideal Org bowling tournament this evening. It will be held at the Stardust Lanes bowling alley and begins at 9:00 PM. You will not be regged at this event.

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      • You know, OTVIII, there is something genuinely hypnotic about the language in that very lengthy post Karin cut-&-pasted above. Is that “black Dianetics”? Is that what Nibs was talking about when he said his father used hypnosis on his followers? It did make me feel very sleepy and unfocused.

        I only ask because I know the Source was a “good friend” of Aleister Crowley — and other “friends” of Crowley I have read have suggested there is great hypnotic power in the written word. Why, some of them have published entire books which they claimed were “brain-change tools” purely on the basis of the design and layout and syntax of the text.

        What say you in the RTC about this, OTVIIIisGrrr8!?

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  4. This must be a Karin Pouw clone. I like the one at Tony’s site better, though, Karin Ka-Pouw (or is it Kung Pouw?). At least that one’s intentionally funny.

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  5. Now that poster brings up several questions. If you are a “Lifetime Member” of IAS, does that only work for this lifetime? Do you have to pay up on the next life cycle? Will IAS allow one to pay ahead to cover the next meat body?

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    • Lifetime membership is valid for the duration of the present lifetime of the holder. Membership dues for Lifetime membership are $5,000.00 U.S. (or its equivalent in other currencies).

      Lifetime membership entitles the holder to all the benefits and privileges granted by the IAS to its Lifetime members.

      Special Honor Statuses may be awarded by the IAS for outstanding contribution as designated by the Association. These Honor Statuses are valid for the duration of the membership of the holder. Special recognitions and awards are given to members who have attained these Honor Statuses.

      The special status of Founding Member is granted to all with Lifetime membership dated 31 December 1994 or earlier. This special status is valid for the lifetime of the member. Founding Members are eligible for all benefits and privileges of this status as announced, including a Founding Member Lifetime membership card.

      Karin Pouw
      International Spokesperson

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  6. You knocked it out of the park with this one, OTVIII. Spot on!

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  7. “Yes, I cheated people out of billions, but it was for their own good…that money has been given to IAS to clear the planet and create a world without insanity. Those “victims” of mine may be broke right now, but they will enjoy super powers beyond their imagination, and be forever grateful for what I (and Scientology) have done for them.”

    — Bernie Madoff

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  8. Anyone who reads the entheta-filled Internet knows that there are many wogs, bitter defrocked apostates, and other downstat individuals who would be thrilled to see COB perp-walked out of Int Base, thrown into jail (with Bubba as his roommate, of course), and then forced to appear in front of a judge without a fake tan to complement his new orange jumpsuit.

    If the haters get their way and COB is sentenced to a lengthy prison term, would the now-former COB be eligible for Criminon? Or would he receive a suppressive person declare and have to do his A – E first? Also, what is the recidivism rate for brutal former cult leaders who have been convicted of crimes like felony assault and financial fraud?

    On a positive note for COB, he wouldn’t have to worry about participating in the annual Flag Understanding Conceptual Knowledge Education Day, since every day in prison would be like that.

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    • COB RTC David Miscavige is the most ethical being on the planet. If anything, COB should be running this planet. He would handle the planet in the very same genius way he has handled the Church of Scientology!

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  9. Pingback: A New OTVIII Shares a Success Story! | OTVIIIisGrrr8!

  10. I’m not surprised that COB allowed another to become the new Pope. Those robes (pajamas?) are hideous. But, I’m sure we’ll soon see IAS logos popping up on all of his wear due to the immense influence the millions of C0$ Argentinians will have on him.

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  11. Let’s see if I understand this correctly. When Narconon or Criminon works for someone, it is because of the magical Hubbard tech. When it fails, it is because their medication was spiked with psych drugs from Big Pharma, which infiltrates Scientology orgs in order to hurt people and discredit Scientology. (Big Pharma fears Scientology because they know they cannot compete with Hubbard technology).

    Is that correct?

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    • Narconon Arrowhead Participates in Worldwide Celebration of 47 Years Fighting Addiction

      On Friday, March 8th, students and staff at Narconon Arrowhead in Oklahoma had even more to celebrate than usual. In addition to the successes of the current students and most recent graduates, Narconon Arrowhead included a celebration of the 47th anniversary of the international Narconon network of drug rehab and prevention programs.
      It was in 1966 that the founder of Narconon, William “Willie” Benitez, an inmate in the Arizona State Prison system, made the firm decision to help other addicts recover from addiction by using the humanitarian works of L. Ron Hubbard. Willie had discovered a book on the fundamentals of life and living by Mr. Hubbard and used these basics to overcome his own addiction. He then realized that he could use them to help other inmates recover and so made his resolution to start an inside-the-walls rehab program.

      Fast forward 47 years – there are now fifty rehab centers on six continents and another 250 drug education and First Step groups. As the largest center, Narconon Arrowhead near McAlester, Oklahoma serves as the flagship rehab facility and training center. From all over the world, officials interested in learning about the Narconon rehab protocol or individuals intent on opening a new center visit this center to see the program in action.

      Friday night is the usual time that staff and students celebrate the progress made by those on the program, but on this occasion they also took the time to note other accomplishments of the Narconon network. A speaker visiting from the international office in Los Angeles told stories about the remarkable benefits of the Narconon First Step Program that is being offered in Mexico. In a country where the largest methamphetamine labs worldwide rob addicts of the ability even to think or speak coherently, the Narconon First Step program enables addicts enrolled in Twelve Step programs to use simple vitamins and therapeutic life skills tools to help one another in the long process of recovery. One recent study found that the Narconon First Step makes it more possible for those in Twelve Step programs to fully engage with the phases of their program and thus more likely to achieve real recovery.

      The speaker also praised the Narconon Arrowhead staff for their relentless drug education outreach. Drug education specialist Nico Bain has been touring Oklahoma and neighboring states to lecture to schoolchildren, reaching anywhere from 500 to 1,000 young people in any given week.

      Narconon Arrowhead also recently reached a significant milestone of its own with the enrollment of the ten thousandth person to the facility for drug recovery.

      Around the world, other Narconon centers also expanded their Friday night events to include a celebration of this anniversary. In Northern California, staff and students at Narconon Vista Bay celebrated their 2,000th graduate. At Narconon Riverbend in Louisiana, the Friday night event included a birthday cake for the network.

      “Forty-seven years of drug recovery service is just the beginning,” said Clark Carr, president of Narconon International. “Around the world, we’ve graduated more than 38,000 students who have learned how to enjoy life without drugs. Narconon Arrowhead has been a leader in both drug rehab and drug prevention and we are proud of their contributions to a saner, safer world.”

      To learn more about the Narconon program or find a Narconon center near you, call 800-775-8750.

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