Prototype construction continues on COB RTC David Miscavige’s historical, unprecedented, epic, and overwhelming Project Mouse Table. An aerial image from Google shows a 5,000 foot section of the dark red plywood-fiberglass prototype Mouse Table spanning the entire length of Int Base:
The 5,000 foot prototype has proven the concept that COB’s mouse table can be built to its planned 18,000 foot length.
The actual COB Mouse Table will be manufactured from secret materials and housed in an equally secret nuclear-hardened underground tunnel. Six miles in length, the tunnel will be called the Mouse Table Complex (MTC).
While RTC personnel will man the MTC, all IAS Patrons OT III or higher who have completed the SHSBC will be able to tour the facility upon signing the Mouse Table Complex Visitors Bond. The bond obligates the signer to pay $500,000 per occurrence should they ever speak about the Mouse Table Complex or its design and construction to anyone ever. This is done for your safety and ours.
Tens of thousands of Scientologists cheered this good news when it was announced by COB RTC during the recent International Dramatizing-Interiorized OT Speakers event held in the festive and brightly colored implanting station at St. Hill:
Turning now to the topic of burlwood pens, we in RTC are pleased to announce that we have found a craftsman of equal magnitude to John Brousseau, the blown Sea Org member and master craftsman who formerly made RTC burlwood pens to COB’s extreme standards of excellence. COB would actually like John to come back to Int Base for a few weeks to fix things. COB desperately needs all of the lamps changed in his personal suntanning bed and no one in the Sea Org can figure this out — and we in RTC dare not allow a common wog on base to do the work as wogs are all 1.1 degraded beings who would contaminate the base.
Official RTC burlwood pens are now available to all Scientologists in good standing who donate to become IAS Patron Excalibur or higher.
In other words, a wholehearted and phenomenal commitment of $5,000,000 — or more — is required to use the same magnificent pen used by COB RTC David Miscavige when he signs important decrees such as his recent proclamation that Flag Land Base has seceded from the United States and is now a sovereign nation just like the Vatican.
$5,000,000 is only money; an RTC burlwood pen is Eternity in your very hand!
Finally, by way of summarizing in order to conclude on a note of splendiferous epiphany, we in RTC are pleased to announce the arrest of 118,216 SP’s during OSA’s massive weekly SP Dragnet.