People who do not join the Church of Scientology and avail themselves of its mental technology will become “bloated corpulent wogs” according to studies conducted by the Wog Assessment Institute, a Scientology think tank dedicated to the study and classification of the various types of wogs found on this prison planet.
“The long term outlook for wogs is not good,” warned Dr. Drake Patton of the Wog Assessment Institute. Dr. Patton’s field studies provide shocking evidence of what is at or near the bottom of the dwindling spiral for those who refuse Scientology auditing:
“Only by being or becoming a Scientologist can a person become one of the beautiful and wealthy people who are clearing the planet,” announced Dr. Patton during a press conference held today at the Scientology University of Conceptual Knowingness.
“Of all the beautiful and important Scientology people clearing the planet,” Dr. Patton authoritatively declared, “none is more beautiful and more important than Fleet Admiral David Miscavige who is the single most significant thetan in the entire universe. To him all Scientologists owe an unpayable debt of gratitude.”
In view of the unpayability and seriousness of this debt,” Dr. Patton affirmed, “the only appropriate act Scientologists can make in order to keep in their exchange is to donate their entire net worth immediately to the IAS. Those Scientologists who refuse to make the supreme financial sacrifice are no better than bloated corpulent wogs.”
My, little Davey certainly is handsome in his splendid soul duds!
If I get in my exchange by donating my entire net worth to the IAS, will I get one of those beautiful David Miscavage plastic bobble head dolls that mounts on the dash of my truck?
Anyone who has one of these beautiful plastic bobble head dolls on their dash, instantly becomes an opinion leader in their org. Also, it really helps when your out picking up chicks!
Hmmm, I don;t know, OTVIIIisGrrr8! As you in the RTC yourself pointed out to me, the men of scientology are not exactly throbbing hunks of sexy, are they? I mean, there are many beautiful women scilons, and COB David Miscavige is certainly, uh, well-maintained; but the other men do leave something to be desired. Look at those “squirrel buster” fellows, they are lacking in both sartorial savvy and physical fitness. In a word: yeeccch! How do you in the RTC account for this?
We in the Church of Scientology have an aesthetic band of beautiful movie stars and wealthy people. But yes, when we go past that band, we
charitably describe our lesser, hideous, and haggard parishioners
as being “spiritually beautiful.”
Many of our parishioners and Sea Org members are missing teeth as it makes no sense whatsoever to pay for dental work when IAS so
desperately needs money for COB’s war chest to fight the Psychs.
And then there is OSA Legal. The yapping jackals in OSA Legal are so hideously unattractive on both a physical and spiritual level that we in RTC wear Hazmat suits when we are forced to be in the same room with them. For example, Ava Paquette: Need we say more?
Actually, Kirstie Alley at her fattest was the best advertisement for Scientology I’ve ever seen.
Eeeeek! Sad scary lady is scary!
That’s a haunted face. Haunting, too. How am I supposed to have good dreams, OTVIII? Talk about restim! Cruella DeVille, anyone?
Can’t a guy catch a couple of rays without being ridiculed in the third most viewed web log on the planet? You will be hearing from my lawyer forthwith. Thanks for catching my good side though.
But that is we in RTC’s point: You can’t just lay there like a beached whale for your entire life:
* You need to be audited up to OT and help us to destroy Psychiatry.
* You need to get your Evil Purposes to destroy planets handled.
* You need to make case gain and disemminate Scientology widely to others so they can have the same wins as you will get on your Bridge Total Freedom.
There is just so much you need to do and only Scientology can help you. Fleet Admiral Miscavige has laid it all out in the Golden Age of Tech:
And you need to be thinner around the wallet.
I loved Davey’s pyramid hat, but shouldn’t it be covered in tin foil??
And smoking is good for you.
Davey, did you know that the Office of Homeland Security is investigating you? Do you have plenty of Kool-Aid?
Good thing you got rid of the old man. No doubt he was your worst PR as far as bloated, frog lipped cult leaders go.
Speaking of corpulent people, is Santa Claus a scientologist? Does he sec check people? I always assumed that was how he knew people were naughty or nice.