Announcing the Golden Age of Fortified Subterranean Ideal Orgs!

We in the RTC do not want mass panic to ensue when the facts are leaked by some deep-cover Psych spy within SMERSH.

Accordingly, we wish to announce that the Church of Scientology has been engaged in the construction of vast and complex underground facilities for many years now.

Designated “Fortified Subterranean Ideal Orgs” or FSIO’s, these facilities are the latest breakthrough from Fleet Admiral David Miscavige:

“The Golden Age of Fortified Subterranean Ideal Orgs”

The Fortified Subterranean Ideal Orgs have become necessary due to the sabotage Psychiatry has put on our lines, particularly as it pertains to the deliberate leaks of altered and squirreled copyrighted upper level Scientology materials onto the internet by the operatives of SMERSH and Big Pharma.

In our new FSIO’s, Church members will be safe from the contagion of aberration deep inside of these underground facilities. No altered and squirreled upper level materials or entheta that has been posted online by SP’s, bitter defrocked apostates, or haters will be able to reach Church members. Factually, there will be no internet whatsoever in the FSIO’s. All communications will be only be in writing and will be delivered by a series of vacuum tubes.

Several dozen Fortified Subterranean Ideal Orgs are already operational and are delivering advanced services in a highly secure Theta environment free from marauding protesters who heckle Sea Org members and public Scientologists alike. These so-called protesters are of course agents of Psychiatry paid to attack and enturbulate Church members engaged in salvaging the planet from the fourth dynamic engram that holds it in thrall to war, crime, and insanity.

The Fortified Subterranean Ideal Orgs will eliminate the need for the The Freewinds and the Super Power Building as delivery organizations. Accordingly, The Freewinds will be re-purposed as a floating RPF religious prison operating in international waters. The Super Power Building will likewise be re-purposed as Flag Land Base offices.

OT VIII and the Super Power Rundowns will be delivered only in RTC’s secret underground ultra-secure auditing rooms and Super Power bunkers:

The locations of the Fortified Subterranean Ideal Orgs  are an RTC Top Secret.

To protect their locations, Scientologists will report to a central location where they will be hooded for transport to the FSIO’s.

Below we see a recent photo of hooded New OT VII’s being prepared for transport to a Fortified Subterranean Ideal Org:

Once Scientologists arrive at a Fortified Subterranean Ideal Org, they are strip-searched;  this includes checking all body cavities, to guard against Psychs, journalists, or members of Anonymous who may be posing as OT’s while attempting to carry concealed recording devices into the FSIO.

All electronic devices, passports, cellphones, and monies will be confiscated from Church members as well, this for their own safety.

Once the strip-search and confiscation of potentially dangerous items is completed, Scientologists are conveyed to the Crypto Pit for several days of sec checking.

The new and innovative RTC Crypto Pit Sec Checking Technology represents a breakthrough in sec checking. Based upon successful enhanced interrogation techniques used at Guantanamo Bay on terrorists,  the RTC Crypto-Pit ensures that all missed withholds are pulled and all Evil Purposes are discovered. This is done to ensure that Scientologists get maximum case gain!

After the completion of the sec checks, Church members are at last ready to begin their advance courses on the Bridge to Total Freedom!

44 replies »

  1. OtVIII…I am just horny…come show me some lurve…I am in ur tiny little OTVIII teeny valance.
    Hit me baby.
    i won’t even bring out the voodoo doll…
    Tomorrow I will worry much more about going to Hardee’s for a nice B_fast….ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh


  2. I would have thought your secret FSIO’s were somewhat larger than the diagrams indicate. In fact, since your theology includes lots of flying saucer stuff. And you also attribute the rise of the Nazi’s to psychs. This leads me to… the fact that a surprising number of people believe that, after the end of World War II, the Nazi’s flew their secret flying saucers to the North Pole or to the South Pole and settled inside the hollow earth. If this is true, perhaps your super-secure Fortified Subterranean Ideal Orgs are not as secure as you think.


    • John P., we in RTC would not want you to “suddenly go missing” for going massively Out Reality with the public. We are certain you will want to tell the public immediately that you were only joking here and that there is no Hollow Earth.

      The public is simply not ready to hear about the Hollow Earth; however OT’s and NOI are!


    • Or, perhaps the Nazis are waiting at the bottom of lake Totenkopft, until their double super-secret allies in the Illuminati, er, I mean the COS, can “blow enough charge” among the mehums, I mean wogs, to revive them to their former glories.

      The whole hollow earth thing is just a ruse. The true purpose of the Sea Org is to plunder Atlantean treasure and hunt the mighty Leviathan. Subterranean orgs? More like Submarine!

      Sure, you laugh now. Just as they in the RTC want you to. But you’ll see — It is all laid out in the “Illuminatus!” trilogy. Read it, if you really wish to know the truth. L Ron was just a pawn in the game; the Apple of Discord that Eris flung in the midst of the powers that be…


      • CV, we in RTC obtained a copy of the Haunebu test flight.

        Fleet Admiral Miscavige wishes to purchase a few hundred of these for the Sea Org Attack Fleet. Do you know of any dealers?

        We in RTC will only pay fleet price for these vehicles. We will not pay retail as do wogs.


    • No, any bunker, or series of bunkers, must be buried miles deep under the Earth in order to shield Church members from Suppression Waves.

      We in RTC personally favor underground facilities that feature miles and miles of endless tunnels equipped with sinister electrical cables and also steel pipes that hum. Some of the pipes must be hot to the touch while others must be freezing. All pipes and cables must feature ominous warning labels. The tunnels are additionally required to be fitted out with sturdy metal guardrails and handrails. These miles and miles of impeccably clean RTC tunnels must seem to go nowhere.


      • OTVIII, I really think a luxury golden submarine would be much more to the liking of you in the RTC, and the loyal scientologists that come seeking the highest levels of Tech.

        It’s like a subterranean org, or “Underground Bunker” if you will; but one that can be constantly on the move, and literally UNDER the radar! In addition, any submarine loaded with the sacred texts of LRH engraved on titanium plates, would be a foolproof mobile vault.

        Even if it is totally disabled and sitting in the ocean floor, it still fulfills the CST mission of preserving the tech. The surrounding water would protect against radiation and whatnot better than a case of Dianezene!

        Ack my comm, OTVIII; this is a superior approach to yours in the RTC. A “Subterranean Org” is vulnerable in ways too numerous to mention. Earthquake and flood are only the most obvious. This entire scheme is a degraded product, and must be replaced by the products of a truly Big Being. In order to preserve the future of the planet, you in the RTC need the Chocolate Velvet on your side.

        You know I love you, OTVIIIisGrrr8! — so believe me when I say that you in the RTC better get to it! Make it go right, or rest assured that any consequences will be delivered “quietly and without sorrow”…


      • Chocolate Velvet, we in RTC already have a luxury golden submarine for the exclusive use of Fleet Admiral David Miscavige. Code-named “Gold” the luxury submersible is over 1,000 meters in length and is the envy of dictators everywhere.

        The sub once went missing under mysterious circumstances. This prompted Fleet Admiral Miscavige to scream, “Where’s the gold,Shelly, where’s the Gold?” at Captain Shelly Miscavige who was in charge of Port Operations for the sub.

        It was believed at the time that an Int Base member had tried to abscond with the golden submarine when they blew.

        A massive blow drill was called to recover the golden submarine and the blown Sea Org member. Over 500,000 Sea Org members participated in the blow drill.

        Coincident to the blow drill, an investigation was launched into the missing sub. RTC members utilizing Crypto Pit sec checking technology discovered that CPO F. Ward of Sea Org Subs Western US (SOS WUS) had forgotten to set the parking brake on the golden submarine, thus allowing it to drift far out into the Pacific.CPO Ward was immediately sent to the RPF’s RPF in Somalia for a sentence of one billion years plus one extra lifetime.

        Admiral Tom Cruise scrambled into action to find the missing sub. As a movie hero and a Scientologist, OT Tom Cruise is trained to handle any emergency.

        Using his specially equipped S.B.6 Seamew aircraft, Cruise and his backseat operations officers (CPO Studwell of SOS WUS) ventured out far into the Pacific Ocean and found the drifting submarine using powerful Sea Org search radar. A recovery was effected and the vessel was saved.

        Admiral Cruise was awarded the Distinguished Thetan Cross (DTC) for his heroic efforts.

        Admiral Cruise in his S.B.6 Seamew.


      • So, since these mmmmmmmmaybe the Sooper Sikrit underground Tunnels in Clearwater, does Fleet Admiral Miscavige have a Sooper Sikrit luxury underground lair where he is currently hiding?

        OTVIII, where IS Davey today?? Why isn’t he outside, personally supervising the landscaping of his namesake park?


  3. Absolutely hilarious! The hooded OT VII’s was a nice touch. I trust the full-cavity strip searches are videoed for your chairman’s viewing pleasure. Little Davey does like to beat his staff while watching others get degraded from what I understand.



      Tony Ortega has one squalid underground bunker.

      We in RTC have dozens and hundreds of secret Fortified Subterranean Ideal Orgs. There is a big difference between the two.

      You clearly are suffering from misunderstood words and this is part of your overall aberration as a thetan.


  4. Secret underground fortresses have never be very safe places. James Bond always found them as did Inspector Clouseau. And you don’t want to deal with the Mole People!!!!


  5. What would you do about subdermal transmitters or recording devices? How do you intend to block telepathic communications and astral projections outside of the walls of your fortresses? I can guarantee you that the psychs will find a way to hack your OTs and make them do their bidding. They are developing new and improved theta traps as I write this!


    • We in RTC perform a full body scan and X-Ray of everyone as they enter or leave our Fortified Subterranean Ideal Orgs.

      The OSA Body Cavity Search and Scanning Unit (OSA BCSSU) recently caught an OT III with a cell phone hidden up his backside trying to sneak into one of our Fortified Subterranean Ideal Orgs:

      The crim claimed he needed the cell phone to check in with his family and employer while he was on course Sorry, but we in RTC call that having other fish to fry. Nothing should be more important that being on course.

      This degraded being was arrested, tried, and convicted in a five minute OSA Insta-Comm Ev and is now serving ten years in RTC’s OT Prison in Mexico.

      If you are an OT reading this, we in RTC are warning you: Don’t try to hide anything from RTC! We will find your ev purps, missed withholds, and anything you have hidden on your person! Don’t risk your eternity.


  6. I am totally unimpressed by the interior design of this structure. The RTC should have hired at least h.r.giger (think of Alien, Prometheus…. THAT would leave a lasting impression)


  7. “We in RTC perform a full body scan and X-Ray of everyone as they enter or leave our Fortified Subterranean Ideal Orgs. ”

    Oh Goody! OTViii, that means there is a body scan of your meat body. Can I see it? Please? I will give you my house and Fairy’s Amex card for it.


  8. OMG!! Looking at those maps, it occurred what a video game this would make!! Wait, wait…that’s not entheta…it’s an opportunity for RTC to open up new licensing markets and new revenue streams.


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