Psychs Behind Skyrocketing Black Market in Counterfeit OT Certs

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With Scientology now the coolest religion on Earth, literally the Mouwad’s 1001 Nights Diamond purse of the mind, everyone wants to be an OT — even SP’s, DB’s, 1.1’s, wogs, spectators, dilettantes, Marcabs, porn stars, Venutian freight locomotive operators, and drug-addled hipsters, Even the suburban white trash in the San Fernando Valley want to be OT’s. However as the Valley OT Committee cannot fully fund its Ideal Org after decades of fundraising, there will be no new OT’s there for at least five hundred years.

Let’s face it: Not everybody can be an OT. Few people can be at cause over the MEST universe and change traffic signals to green at their command or postulate the best parking spots at the mall. And even fewer people have the staggering wherewithal required to fund the IAS Patron statuses necessary to be invited onto the OT levels. This is why only the biggest of the biggest beings become OT’s!

In order to destroy Scientology, the Psychs have started at the very top of the Bridge. Fleet Admiral David Miscavige has exposed a global Psych black market crime syndicate selling counterfeit OT certificates. These Psych gangsters are attempting to dilute to the enormous value of the OT brand by flooding the market with fake OT certificates. The most desired counterfeit cert is of course the coveted and rare OTVIII cert, this because, let’s face it, OTVIII is great!

We in RTC have ordered our operating arm OSA to capture these criminals, freeze them,  and then  transport them in Scientology’s 747 spaceplanes to a distant Earth-like planet. There, these criminals will be dumped into volcanoes and nuked. Only by taking such drastic measures can Scientology be saved.

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Scientology’s 747 space plane fleet will transport Psych criminals to volcanoes on a distant Earth-like planet and nuke them.

 

2 responses to “Psychs Behind Skyrocketing Black Market in Counterfeit OT Certs

  1. Once I reached OTVIII, I postulated that the org would have toilet paper, be able to pay the staff and utility bills. But my postulate did not come true! I beseech you, Dear Leader David Miscavige, world’s foremost Onanist, to explain why!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Of course OTVIIIisGrrr8! and that is why everyone wants to be go OT and be OT!!!!! Besides, it’s soooooooo cool!!!! To quote from the above posting:

    “…everyone wants to be an OT —even SP’s, DB’s, 1.1’s, wogs, spectators, dilettantes, Marcabs, porn stars, Venutian freight locomotive operators, and drug-addled hipsters, Even the suburban white trash in the San Fernando Valley want to be OT’s…”

    So, since the Pyschs and other common criminals can so easily forge and counterfeit a gen-u-ine OT certificate, how do us regular beings tell a real OT from a counterfeit OT? Sometimes when I see the likes of Grant Cardone, I have to wonder cuz he can be kind of an asshole you know. Also, I have met a few other folks in line at the local soup kitchen that claim to have attained OT thru years of auditing and account emptying IAS donations, but for some reason they can’t procure a better place in line than I can, or get the spaghetti stains out of their Way To Happiness tee shirt. What gives?

    Like

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