Tag Archives: OTVIII

Scientology OT7 Richard “Big Dick” Bongo warns SP’s to Shut the Hell Up!

Scientologist OT7 Richard “Big Dick” Bongo warns SP’s to shut the hell up and stop talking about Scientology and the Aftermath or he will make them shut up!

“I’m goddamn sick and tired of hearing about this show,” exclaimed Big Dick Bongo. “And yeah, I know the show won an Emmy but so what? Those faggots in Hollywood make an Emmy sound like it’s some kind of  big deal. Well it’s not! And for the record I’d rather have my e-meter than an Emmy!”

An OT8 Success Story in Fighting Entheta!

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By Debbie Duncan-Donitz, OTVIII

I was recently shopping at my neighborhood department store when I saw piles of a certain celebrity magazine at each checkout stand that featured a former Scientology actress who is now a hater and a bigot.

I knew something had to be done.

I hid in the store until after it closed. Then I ran into the patio section and gathered up cases of barbecue lighter fluid in a shopping cart. I doused the front of the store with the lighter fluid and set it aflame.

The flames quickly spread at an astonishing rate! All of the propane bottles in the front of store exploded. The clothing departments caught fire as did sporting goods, fabrics, and every other department.

By the time the Fire Department arrived on scene the store was a giant conflagration of flames that leaped hundreds of feet into the night sky. I cackled from my hiding spot in a tree in the parking lot.

The Fire Department had no chance. The store burned to the ground. All that remained was a gutted shell. This wog retail store will not be selling any more hateful entheta magazines that attack my religion! I am so keyed out on this huge win!

A Scientology OT VIII Goes Shopping

COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige Announces ABF

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“Entheta is up 3,000%,” announced Captain Ken Delusion, CO Entheta Particles Unit OSA.

“Even with all he is doing, and all he has done, COB can’t open new Ideal Orgs fast enough to counter the entheta or the spectatorism and CICS’ing in the OT Committees.”

“The nattering among OT Committee members that they have too much work to do, are financially drained, are trapped in the Slough of Despond, are PTS to the internet and SP’s, etc. is all case and all bank,” Delusion reminded OTC members.

“The breakthrough is more fundraising. The answer is always more fundraising.”

“The Founder said ‘solve it with Scientology’ and what is Scientology? Scientology is fundraising and therefore to be a Scientologist, to do Scientology, is to fundraise. Hence, COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige’s new stable datum is ABF:

Always
Be
Fundraising

“In 21st century Scientology,  KSW is ABF is Truth Revealed is OTIX, OTX, and OT Infinity,” declared Delusion.

Psychs Behind Skyrocketing Black Market in Counterfeit OT Certs

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With Scientology now the coolest religion on Earth, literally the Mouwad’s 1001 Nights Diamond purse of the mind, everyone wants to be an OT — even SP’s, DB’s, 1.1’s, wogs, spectators, dilettantes, Marcabs, porn stars, Venutian freight locomotive operators, and drug-addled hipsters, Even the suburban white trash in the San Fernando Valley want to be OT’s. However as the Valley OT Committee cannot fully fund its Ideal Org after decades of fundraising, there will be no new OT’s there for at least five hundred years.

Let’s face it: Not everybody can be an OT. Few people can be at cause over the MEST universe and change traffic signals to green at their command or postulate the best parking spots at the mall. And even fewer people have the staggering wherewithal required to fund the IAS Patron statuses necessary to be invited onto the OT levels. This is why only the biggest of the biggest beings become OT’s!

In order to destroy Scientology, the Psychs have started at the very top of the Bridge. Fleet Admiral David Miscavige has exposed a global Psych black market crime syndicate selling counterfeit OT certificates. These Psych gangsters are attempting to dilute to the enormous value of the OT brand by flooding the market with fake OT certificates. The most desired counterfeit cert is of course the coveted and rare OTVIII cert, this because, let’s face it, OTVIII is great!

We in RTC have ordered our operating arm OSA to capture these criminals, freeze them,  and then  transport them in Scientology’s 747 spaceplanes to a distant Earth-like planet. There, these criminals will be dumped into volcanoes and nuked. Only by taking such drastic measures can Scientology be saved.

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Scientology’s 747 space plane fleet will transport Psych criminals to volcanoes on a distant Earth-like planet and nuke them.

 

Scientology OTVIII Grant Cardone on Jesus

We in RTC applaud Scientology OTVIII Grant Cardone for his very deep and profound view of Jesus.

It comes near the very end:

Grant Cardone: Stop Wasting Money on Junk!

We in RTC salute OTVIII Grant Cardone for laying down the smack: “Stop Wasting Money on Junk!” Indeed, one’s personal life and livingness expenses should be minimized in order to increasingly raise one’s IAS status.

Grant and Elena Cardone skipped the purchase of useless MEST in order to donate $2,500,000 to the IAS. In exchange, they received the very highly deluxe and coveted IAS “Nancyboy” trophy:

Grant and Elena Cardone, IAS Patron Meritorious: $2,500,000 USD.

Grant and Elena Cardone, IAS Patron Meritorious: $2,500,000 USD.

And for all of you lurking wogs, SP’s, homo saps, Psychs, 1.1’s, sex perverts, and haters, we in RTC join Grant and Elena in giving you a free OT R Factor:

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Go think with this data!