Church of Scientology Leader David Miscavige Gives Texas a Gift!

ED.1Church of Scientology Ecclesiastical Leader, His Imperial Holiness David Miscavige, today decreed that Oklahoma no longer exists,” announced Monsignor Ken Delusion.

“In his infinite wisdom and beneficence, therefore, His Imperial Holiness David Miscavige has granted the land to the Great State of Texas.”

Texas

“With Oklahoma now being non-existent, the NAFC lawsuit in Oklahoma against His Imperial Holiness David Miscavige also no longer exists.”

15 responses to “Church of Scientology Leader David Miscavige Gives Texas a Gift!

  1. He must of seen how well the Texas orgs are doing and thought MASS EXPANSION! Ideal Dallas does not even need Sea Org members to keep the lights on for the empty building, unlike their LA brethren.

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  2. Would now be a good time for David Miscavige to ask Tom Cruise to donate his Telluride ranch property to the church? Ideal ranches seem like the next logical step.

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  3. Rah-roh. Texas next, so that lawsuit disappears.

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  4. Next, as an international humanitarian gift, His Holiness Mr. Miscavige will gift the new Texas back to Mexico and that pesky Rathbun lawsuit will become nothing more than a discussion group for defrocked apostates held in a burnt out cantina somewhere in Culiacan.

    Captain Miscavige will also visit this magnificent country to open his Ideal Org & Burrito Stand* in Guadalajara.

    *Flag burritos and status symbols sold separately.

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    • NOLAGirl, while COB could give Texas back to Mexico, COB actually prefers to saw Texas off from North America and then sail it down to the South Pole. COB’s new map of America is in the works:

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  5. Remember… when the PC gets upset with the auditor… M/WH, ARC-X…?
    So let us take a LOOK together and help the “PC” to locate it.

    DM RTC Scientology Oklahoma ???

    Ahhh…. does that SOMEHOW qualify for an EARLIER SIMILAR incident…?

    http://tinyurl.com/DM-Oklahoma

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      • OTVIIIisGrrr8!,

        some non standard ways to handle it would be:
        A) HIT THE PC STRAIGHT IN HIS FACE.
        B) GET A GANG SCREAM AND YELL AT HIM TO KNOCK IT OFF!!
        C) GET QUIETLY OUT OF THE ROOM AND LET THE S.O. MEMBER GET SOME REST… but that would be most humane.

        So the more standard way how to handle a particular PC that dopes off is:

        1) TR3
        2) do a correction list on him.
        OR…
        3) apply HCO PL 14 Jan 1969 which states:

        “…
        A stuck picture or a motionless org are similar.
        Each has behind it a failed purpose.

        THERE IS A L-A-W ABOUT THIS – ALL YOU HAVE TO DO TO RESTORE LIFE AND ACTION IS TO REKINDLE THE FAILED PURPOSE.
        THE STOPS WILL AT ONCE BLOW.
        …”

        GREAT!!!! THERE IS THE SOLUTION!!!! YEEAAHHHHH!!!!!
        So the PC (DM) just should be asked:
        “Has a purpose been blunted?”

        But you know, why he “can’t use” that reference…?
        Because this reference is called “OT Orgs”… and NOT “IDEAL Orgs”.
        Grrrrr….!!!!!

        So “EVERYONE” would just start wondering, why he came up with the
        “St. Hill Size Org Strategy” and the “Ideal Org Strategy” but not with the LRH “OT Org Strategy”…

        Mmmhhhh…. the indicators still don’t get in with that PC (DM)… let’s see.

        Ahhhh…. there is another reason, why THIS reference should not be made too widely known… because RIGHT BELOW that quoted L-A-W there is another paragraph… that certain people… should better… not see… mmhhhh… it goes like this:

        “…
        That law (it comes out of OT VIII materials) is so
        powerful it would practically revive the dead!
        …”

        tsk, tsk, tsk…. LRH talks here OPENLY about OT VIII stuff and what is part of the materials!!!!!!!!!! O-U-T S-E-C-U-R-I-T-Y-!!!!!!!!!!
        Upss…

        But guess what… THAT PARTICULAR LAW IS PROBABLY N-O-T PART OF THE NEW OTVIII…. how’s that for a missed withhold?

        How many NEW OT VIIIs would simply scratch their heads and……
        Perhaps too many? πŸ˜‰

        I’ll not get deeper into all that technical stuff – it would be
        VERBAL DATA FROM NON HIDDEN DATA LINES OUT OF SQUIRREL NON L.RON HUBBARD LIBRARY MATERIALS!!!!!!!!!!

        But be assured, that showing this particular policy to a highly trained
        FSSO auditor caused some eyes to be rollend and the jaw dropped. πŸ˜‰
        PS: that reference did real wonders! πŸ™‚

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  6. I’m looking forward to the day when he says he has never heard of California.

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  7. This announcement proves that Scientology creates OTs who are cause over Matter, Energy, Space, Time, and Life.

    And Oklahoma.

    Alanzo

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  8. Knowing how these things flow I’m sure my college credits at OU are no longer valid. But, since my knowledge of knowingness trumps any wog edukashun, I can still prosper and flush at will.

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  9. I probably shouldn’t be saying this as it is confidential and His Imperial Holiness was going to announce it at the opening of our magnificent religion’s massively theta new world government complex, but an extremely reliable source told me that Oklahoma has, in fact, never legitimately existed, and neither has Texas. Both are “errors” slipped in unbeknownst to all by SP cartographers! Of course, the Founding Fathers can be forgiven – they did not have Captain David Miscavige’s armor-penetrating truth about evil purposes and SPs, and so did not know better. Now that scientology finally runs the wrold’s governments, we can draw the map according to His Holiness’ superior and exterior understanding. I consider myself unbelievably fortunate to have been born directly into scientology – what better life could one wish for? I thank His Ethereal Holiness every day and with every dollar!!

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