“The news of the lawsuit against David Miscavige and now HowdyCon has caused the ambient entheta levels to skyrocket in Los Angeles! Peak entheta readings of ten trillion kiloton light year […]
Scientologists Ordered to Evacuate Los Angeles!
How to Determine if a Scientologist is in Good Standing with the Church of Scientology
All Scientologists are like Schrödinger’s cat in the box: They are simultaneously in good standing and not in good standing with the Church. If a radioactive legal particle adverse to the Church […]
Church of Scientology Sues Alex Gibney and HBO; Demands Return of Going Clear Emmy’s to Rightful Winner David Miscavige
Speaking at a packed press conference at Scientology Media Productions in Hollywood, CO OSA Int Statistics Captain Holotta Delusion declared, “Following a thorough investigation, we in OSA have determined the correct WHY […]
Church of Scientology Leader David Miscavige Gives Texas a Gift!
“Church of Scientology Ecclesiastical Leader, His Imperial Holiness David Miscavige, today decreed that Oklahoma no longer exists,” announced Monsignor Ken Delusion. “In his infinite wisdom and beneficence, therefore, His Imperial Holiness David […]
Scientology: Global Red Alert!
Fleet Admiral David Miscavige has declared a global red alert for all Scientology sectors following the Church’s legal loss in Florida. All Scientologists are hereby ordered to begin purchasing all copies of […]
