Wallace Johnson Esq., Former Chief Justice of Texas, Now Fighting for the Church of Scientology

WJWe in RTC are pleased to announce that our new wog attorney Wallace “Wally” Johnson is onboard fighting for the rights of Captain David Miscavige to conduct a Scientology Jihad against Church enemies.
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Now in private practice to make some big money, former Texas Chief Justice Wallace Jefferson of Alexander Dubose Jefferson & Townsend LLP has made a big splashy entrance into private life by defending Captain David Miscavige and the Scientology religion.
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As Chief Justice of the Texas Supreme Court, Wally Johnson made only $152,000 per year. That is chicken feed, chump change, for a man of his talents and connections. Indeed, OSA Legal often spends that much on PI’s in one week.
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In order to increase Wally’s havingness, Captain Miscavige ordered OSA Legal to pay Wally Jefferson a big fat up front retainer that was much larger than his previous annual income. We in RTC hope that Wally Johnson will use some of that money to buy himself a few new suits. Those old cheap “Chief Justice” suits he wears are just horrendous and downstat.
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We in RTC note that Wally Jefferson makes a big deal in his biography about being descended from slaves. Captain Miscavige is uncomfortable with that because our critics accuse we in the Scientology religion of using slave labor, i.e. Sea Org members who work 100 hour weeks and make $12 per week and are subject to being beaten and imprisoned in the RPF.
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We in RTC will be asking Wally Johnson to dial down that “slave part” of his biography so that he does not look like a massive hypocrite.
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14 responses to “Wallace Johnson Esq., Former Chief Justice of Texas, Now Fighting for the Church of Scientology

  1. Did you know that God cannot sue Satan?

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    • Well of course God cannot sue Satan because theirs is a religious dispute.

      Likewise, Wallace Jefferson will be arguing that the US should not attack Al Qaeda installations because Al Qaeda is engaging in protected religious conduct.

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      • Plus Satan has all the lawyers.

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      • Attorney Jefferson invoked the Squirrel Buster precedent no doubt. Cults worldwide are looking into the “religious” angle to justify bad behavior, financial misfeasance, malfeasance, and other crimes. Bernie Madhoff now realizes his only true crime was not including a “religious” back door of escape.

        One can only hope this lesson on the huge importance of hiding behind “religious freedom” 24/7/365 no matter what the crime is taught not only in the finest law schools, but in elementary and high schools too.

        Even a layman can appreciate that criminals, terrorists, and cult leaders all have the freedom to worship and practice their religion in their own chosen manner.

        Unlike the froggish French, this is the American way.

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  2. Walley tell DM it is time to pack his bags…Texas awaits his big beingness.
    Welcome aboard Walley, your just in time to go down with the ship. May want to trade that toilet seat around your neck for a flotation devise.

    Enjoy the money but just know you dance with the fukin devil. Don’t expect a happy ending Walley, just saying.

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    • Wally is no typical street corner whore lawyer. No indeed. Wally is like the highest priced call girl you can imagine. One who is happy to lend a hand and offer up any other orifice for the right fee.

      As Wally stated recently in his book, he is not a “prostitute”, but an “escort” through the arcane maze of modern justice. Like the world’s oldest profession, his simple goals are to leave his clients satisfied and his wallet nicely fattened.

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  3. I for one am offended that anyone would think that COS engages in slavery. Sea Org consists of nothing but religious volunteers, not slaves and definitely not employees for purposes of minimum wage and insurance laws.

    Jefferson can brag about his slave ancestors secure in the knowledge that his employer never has and never will engage in such vile practices. Pinky swear!

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  4. As a former Texas supreme court justice, I hope Jefferson has the correct interpretation of how religious freedom works.

    For example, if a Christian minister were to punch a Scientologist, then that minister should obviously go to jail. No claim of religious freedom is a valid defense for such a vile act.

    On the other hand, if a Scientologist were to punch a Christian (or any wog for that matter) then this would clearly be a constitutionally protected religious act, which is completely exempt from secular law. If anything, the Christian should go to jail for interfering with the Scientology religion.

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