COB RTC David Miscavige’s personal Vedic astrologer Jyotisha-Vastu advised COB several months ago to seal his giant circus tent against “Suppression Waves” coming in from the wog internet.
“Jyotisha-Vastu had a vision, a reverie,” explained Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion, “in which he saw that COB’s Ecclesiastical Pavilion needed to be wrapped in an aluminum enclosure. And so why the clever Sea Org members at Golden Era designed a special lightweight aluminum cover.”
“COB had the bright idea to paint it white and put that giant KSW logo on it,” Delusion commented. “We think the end result looks pretty spectacular.”
“The new aluminum cover will protect Scientology parishioners from the trillions and trillions of Electromagnetic Suppression Waves that are constantly flying around the atmosphere as well as coming in from outer space all the time,” Delusion declared.
“That’s how the Suppressive Science of the internet works — and now we just beat Science at it’s own game by using tinfoil!”
Our new motto in the Church of Scientology: Safe Under the Tinfoil!
“Safe under the tinfoil,” Delusion noted, “Scientology parishioners are now free to disagree with their physical universe financial considerations and ‘go all in’ to donate and donate and donate until they have nothing left — at which point they are free to create more and more and more money from nothing.”
“Creating from nothing,” Delusion concluded, “is truly being ‘Cause over the MEST universe!”