We in RTC greet you in the name of David Miscavige the Beneficent and Merciful unto whom all praise is due. Peace be unto you.

We come to you to let you know that, once again, an SP Texas court is attacking his Holiness David Miscavige, the one and true ecclesiastical leader of the Church of Scientology.

In doing so, this SP Texas court has already harmed the entire world,  for this legal case has forced COB RTC David Miscavige to take precious time away from opening his new circus tent in Clearwater, opening the Super Power Building, and launching the Golden Age of Tech, Phase II.

The vicious attack upon his Holiness David Miscavige is part of a diabolical plot by Cowboy Psychs bent upon destroying Scientology.

“This is truly a spaghetti western from Hell,” declared Dr. Eldon Weiner, the Inspector General of RTC responsible for tracking all of the myriad plots against COB and the Church. This so-called lawsuit by Monique Rathbun is just another attack upon Mankind’s only salvation!”

During a crowded press conference today at Flag Land Base, Dr. Weiner explained that the Church of Scientology sent in 3,000 wog lawyers to Texas to defend Mr. Miscavige.

“We need  3,000 fancy wog lawyers there in Texas to make sure justice is served,” Dr. Weiner commented. “For what is really at stake is the future of every man, woman, and child on this planet!”

In happier news, we in RTC are pleased to report that COB’s new airship is aloft over the sunny skies of Clearwater spreading the word about COB’s 800-Donate program to fund the launch of GAT II. Please call and donate today!