We in RTC don’t understand you stupid wogs.
You blather on and on and on about how our Mr. David Miscavige is a sadistic and greedy monster, a vain sociopath concerned only with making endless speeches so he can hear the sound of his own voice and bask in endless applause.
Then, with sinister accusative tones in your voice, you ask where Mrs. Shelly Miscavige is — and this while spinning all kinds of tall tales that COB must have imprisoned her in King Tut’s tomb because he is a monster.
Yet if Mr. Miscavige is a such a monster then wouldn’t it stand to reason that Shelly would, or her own volition, want to live elsewhere? And wouldn’t she have divorced such a monster as the law allows?
Then again, even poetically, the answer you wogs don’t want to hear is the correct one: Dave and Shelly are happily married. Shelly is a very private person who doesn’t like the intense media spotlight in which her husband is continually immersed due to his status as the single most important ecclesiastical leader on the planet.
Shelly is a delicate little flower and her husband, a man who is the priest confessor and confidante to world leaders, celebrities, and dozens of lesser religious leaders such as Pope Francis of the Vatican State, treats her as such by assigning her to a very non-enturbulative post that contributes, in its own very minimal way, to Planetary Clearing.
It is vitally important that Shelly descend several hundred feet under the Earth each day into an ultra-secret vault owned and maintained by the Church of Spiritual Technology (CST).
Shelly is literally in the Scientology Holy of Holies each day with a can of Pledge and white 100% cotton towels that she has laundered using mild detergents that contain no rose perfumes or other scents. There, Shelly carefully polishes to a high luster the titanium containers that house Scientology’s scriptures on stainless steel discs.
The containers Shelly maintains are the Church’s guarantee of future survival after the Psychs wipe out this Planet — and this will happen very soon, possibly this week, unless the Church of Scientology handles the Fourth Dynamic Engram that holds the Planet in thrall. And that is why you need to increase your IAS Patron status today!
While it is politically incorrect to say so in today’s Psych-drug-addled world, the plain and simple fact is that women need to know their place. Shelly does and so she does what her husband tells her. This is why she is very happy on post. Shelly will make an appearance at the Celebrity Centre gala only if her husband tells her to do so. She will also wear whatever gown and shoes her husband selects for her.
If Shelly does attend the gala, COB will allow her to carry a jeweled clutch containing a tube of unscented lipstick and a small nickel-plated .38 caliber revolver to fend off any wog reporter who breaches the formidable CCI security barricades. Shelly’s .38 will be loaded with Hornady XTP Bullets 38 Caliber (357 Diameter) 125 grain hollow points. This fact alone should serve as warning to any wog reporters who have murky plans about crashing the party.
None of you are welcome to our party so stay away!