Tag Archives: cults

The Watchtower Bible & Scientology Society

Unfairly persecuted and attacked for being greedy and soul-destroying cults that protect sexual predators and are led by insane and vicious leaders, the Church of Scientology and the Watchtower Bible & Tract Society today merged to become the Watchtower Bible & Scientology Society.

“The goal of the WB&SS is to serve as the Herald of Ron’s Presence,” said Ken Delusion, a member of the new Governing Body. “We of the WB&SS also seek to destroy our enemies from off the face of the Earth.”

“As for the 144,000 chosen who will enter the Heavenly Org, we of the Governing Body have received a divine revelation that only WB&SS Archangel Patrons who have donated at least $10,000,000 will enter Heaven as members of the Elect OT Overseers.  Everyone else will receive the honor of serving the Elect.”

Captain David Miscavige’s Long Awaited Memoirs Now Available from Bridge Publications International

From the book:

“Scientologist Tom Cruise trembled as he approached the golden glittering IAS stage to receive the highest medal ever given to anyone in Scientology.”

“He was in the presence of greatness.”

“That greatness was me.”

The Miracles of OT Marketing to Sheeple: How to sell Scientologists the same products year in and year out for 65 years and counting!

Golden shovels lead to Ideal Orgs! How to raise money endlessly for decades using empty old dilapidated buildings!

Captain Miscavige’s pro tips for handling troublesome celebrities!

“I kissed a man and I liked it!” How Captain Miscavige and the Church of Scientology profit from celebrity secrets!

July 8, 2015: Will Captain Miscavige be able to prevent the planned Mass Marcab landing?

LAPD: Shelly Miscavige Not a Missing Person

Church of Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion today announced that the Los Angeles Police Department has concluded that Shelly Miscavige is not a missing person after all.

“This was a widespread misapprehension spread by bitter defrocked apostates,” Delusion remarked. “Factually, this was a non-story. ”

“The real story here is that the Church has once again successfully controlled a law enforcement agency and shut down an investigation that would have otherwise been troubling to COB RTC David Miscavige.” Delusion boldly asserted.

“The wog public fails to understand, once again, just how powerful the Church of Scientology is at a very high level,” Delusion boasted. “We have shut down FBI investigations on, beat human trafficking charges in court, and have fended off complaints about how we routinely violate child labor laws. The Church is  bulletproof because we spend our money in all the right places; that is what your donations buy.”

Delusion noted that, “What the Founder of Scientology wrote is true:

‘Somebody some day will say “this is illegal.”  By then be sure the orgs  say what is legal or not.’

“The Church of Scientology told the LAPD that Shelly is not missing and that is that. Our word is the law and LAPD uncritically accepts it as such. As wogs, they really have no other choice than to obey the Church of Scientology.”

“To conclude on more serious news, Fleet Admiral David Miscavige is briefing the US Senate on the correct use of the E-Meter for sec checking Senate staffers to see if they are leaking salacious things about Senators to the media.”

Scientology and Disconnection Further Explained

(We in RTC are pleased to feature the work of guest columnist Whostolemycog on today’s blog post. If you think you can handle the Bridge here for a day and want to showcase your talents as a guest columnist, then write it up and send it to us at:  otviiiisgrrr8@gmail.com)

Disconnection has become a touchy subject due to the misconception that it is a practice invented and solely endorsed by the Church of Scientology.

Our message: This is simply not true.

“Disconnection” occurs only when Church members choose to leave the Church, disconnecting themselves from the sole source of truth, which is of course the technology and published materials of the Church made available in Ideal Org Bookstores and Gas Stations around the world through the generosity and sanity of COB RTC David Miscavige.

Let’s get straight to the point: By definition anyone making a choice to leave the Church is obviously insane and suffering from aberration.

Keep in mind when Scientologists leave the Church, they make an irrational choice to disconnect.  An irrational choice to disconnect from theta, disconnect from eternity, but most importantly, they make the irrational choice to  “Disconnect” from COB RTC, David Miscavige.

And so it follows none other than COB is personally harmed by the tens of thousands of former Scientologists who made the choice to personally Disconnect from him by leaving the church.

COB was neither consulted nor given a choice in the matter.  He did not place an “order” for these people to leave the Church and never talk to him again, refuse to take his calls, or perhaps most importantly refuse to contribute to his annual birthday gift.

No, no, no! COB’s only family are the millions of Scientologists around the world.  Think about the pain of losing tens of thousands of family members and millions of dollars through Disconnection.  Now you have some idea of the pain borne by COB.

This of course ignores the additional pain of disconnection COB experiences from all the people familiar with the Church and its teachings that refuse to pay tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars to actually join the Church in a fair exchange.  These people too, whether they realize it or not, have also made the choice to disconnect from COB, thereby multiplying his pain.

We believe the Church has now clearly explained “Disconnection” as a one way street advocated, endorsed, and practiced solely by the ignorant, the apathetic, or the mentally ill.  It’s that simple.

Do you better understand disconnection now?


For all of the people currently disconnected from COB, we urge you to rethink your disconnection.

Theta is right here, just a platinum IAS membership away, but it’s been refused whether through ignorance, apathy, or insanity.  In this refusal, you’ve disconnected from a refreshing babbling spring of fresh theta so pure it would change your life, your eternity, and even the balance of your bank account.

Let’s all share the glow again or even for the first time.  Remember you only have one eternity, so stop by your local neighborhood Ideal Org today.

Bring a friend and don’t forget your wallet!!!

Where is Shellly Miscavige?

We in RTC don’t understand you stupid wogs.

You blather on and on and on about how our Mr. David Miscavige is a sadistic and greedy monster, a vain sociopath concerned only with making endless speeches so he can hear the sound of his own voice and bask in endless applause.

Then, with sinister accusative tones in your voice, you ask where Mrs. Shelly Miscavige is — and this while spinning all kinds of tall tales that COB must have imprisoned her in King Tut’s tomb because he is a monster.

Yet if Mr. Miscavige is a such a monster then wouldn’t it stand to reason that Shelly would, or her own volition, want to live elsewhere? And wouldn’t she have divorced such a monster as the law allows?

Then again, even poetically, the answer you wogs don’t want to hear is the correct one: Dave and Shelly are happily married. Shelly is a very private person who doesn’t like the intense media spotlight in which her husband is continually immersed due to his status as the single most important ecclesiastical leader on the planet.

Shelly is a delicate little flower and her husband, a man who is the priest confessor and confidante to world leaders, celebrities, and dozens of lesser religious leaders such as Pope Francis of the Vatican State, treats her as such by assigning her to a very non-enturbulative post that contributes, in its own very minimal way, to Planetary Clearing.

It is vitally important that Shelly descend several hundred feet under the Earth each day into an ultra-secret vault owned and maintained by the Church of Spiritual Technology (CST).

Shelly is literally in the Scientology Holy of Holies each day with a can of Pledge and white 100% cotton towels that she has laundered using mild detergents that contain no rose perfumes or other scents. There, Shelly carefully polishes to a high luster the titanium containers that house Scientology’s scriptures on stainless steel discs.

vaultThe containers Shelly maintains are the Church’s guarantee of future survival after the Psychs wipe out this Planet — and this will happen very soon, possibly this week, unless the Church of Scientology handles the Fourth Dynamic Engram that holds the Planet in thrall. And that is why you need to increase your IAS Patron status today!

While it is politically incorrect to say so in today’s Psych-drug-addled world, the plain and simple fact is that women need to know their place. Shelly does and so she does what her husband tells her. This is why she is very happy on post. Shelly will make an appearance at the Celebrity Centre gala only if her husband tells her to do so. She will also wear whatever gown and shoes her husband selects for her.

If Shelly does attend the gala, COB will allow her to carry a jeweled clutch containing a tube of unscented lipstick and a small nickel-plated .38 caliber revolver to fend off any wog reporter who breaches the formidable CCI security barricades. Shelly’s .38 will be loaded with Hornady XTP Bullets 38 Caliber (357 Diameter) 125 grain hollow points. This fact alone should serve as warning to any wog reporters who have murky plans about crashing the party.

None of you are welcome to our party so stay away!