Update on COB RTC David Miscavige’s Most Vital Projects!

We in RTC are frequently asked for updates on COB RTC David Miscavige’s vital projects. But then again, COB has so many vital projects that we can only update you on a few of them.

The Super Power Building Cross Maintenance Fund: The Cross high atop the Super Power building needs to be kept polished and spotless so that it can forever serve as a beacon of hope in a world that has plunged into darkness. Your $5,000,000 donation is urgently needed to keep the Super Power Cross gleaming for Eternity!

The Ferris Wheel for Poor Children at Flag: Your donations are urgently needed. If you donate $250,000 today you will receive this special “I AM ME” Ferris Wheel Patron t-shirt:

T,Shirt

Project Mouse Table:  Designed to be the world’s largest mouse table at 1,000,000 feet in length, this vital COB project suffered a setback when a Russian Sea Org member used metric units. This caused key sections of the table to catastrophically fail under testing. Dozens of SO PAC PMT crew members were beaten and RPF’d by COB. The project is delayed and your $1,000,000 donation is urgently needed today.

Burl Wood Pens Donation Project: This project is in screaming straight up and vertical expansion. Your $750,000 donation is urgently needed to keep it this way.

The Orca Tank at Int Base: COB’s highest PT priority  is the completion of an Orca tank at Int Base, this to make troublemakers, SP’s, BDA’s, critics, and Psychs disappear as needed. Your heroic and phenomenal $10,000,000 donation is urgently needed this very hour:

Orca.Tank'

6 responses to “Update on COB RTC David Miscavige’s Most Vital Projects!

  1. OT, why can’t you call a fundraiser a fundraiser? “Update on vital projects.” Right.

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  2. Regarding the Orca tank, I seem to recall that the best use for such a facility is to hold sharks with laser beams on their heads. Something for Mini-me to do. http://atomicgator.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/sharks_w_laser_beams.jpg?w=627

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    • Thank you for the shark idea, but Tom Cruise mentioned to COB that riding Orcas would really be fun.

      After feeding the Orcas SP’s, BDA’s, etc., COB wants to get into a wetsuit with Tom and ride Orcas.

      COB is trying to get “alone time” with Tom and so if Tom wants to ride killer whales, why then he shall!

      The Church needs Tom Cruise back on post promoting Scientology.

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