Narconon Georgia Raided by the Psychs!

image credit: wbstv.com

Church of Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion has just issued a preliminary statement from the Scientology One News Bureaux in Hollywood:

“Factually, there was no so-called ‘raid’ at Narconon Atlanta.”

“What happened is that some law enforcement agents showed up to ask for 100,000 free copies of The Way to Happiness to hand out to at risk youth in Atlanta.”

“One of the law enforcement officers then said to a Narconon staff member, ‘Oh by the way, I have this completely baseless search warrant and so I need to take a file or two and a few computers to prove that there is nothing to this case.'”

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“When pressed for details, the law enforcement agent admitted that the search warrant was based upon some wild-eyed accusation that Narconon used government copier paper without permission.””In related news, an Office of Special Affairs investigation has revealed that a tiny handful of undercover operatives sent in by Psychiatry allegedly obtained jobs as Narconon staff in order to engage in insurance fraud, this in yet another attempt by the Psychs to bring the Church of Scientology and Narconon into disrepute.”

“We in RTC are guardedly watching the situation but will not be cooperating with the authorities at this time based upon the advice of our fancy wog lawyers.”

“Narconon is the only proven drug treatment program in the world and has a 90% success rate. Naturally, then, the Psychs have manufactured crimes where none exist. The Church of Scientology is confident that this will all blow over in a few days.”

10 responses to “Narconon Georgia Raided by the Psychs!

  1. Aren’t Psychiatry and Scientology the same thing?

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  2. Doesn’t Narconon put those kids to work!!?? That building is an embarrassment!! Peeling paint and an awning that looks like it has never seen soap. One might postulate that a can or two of paint could be squeezed out of the $30k client fee. How much does Niacin cost these days? Thee in RTC appears not to be paying attention to the details of keeping things in ship-shape!! RPF muster on the double!!

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    • Due to the risk of paint huffing, Narconon students are not allowed near materials such as paint. Also, while doing some word clearing, someone found the word “patina” and thought it meant “looks like crap, but is desireable to idiots.”

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  3. Mary Reiser made a simple mistake and now the Psychs have turned this into a big deal.

    Mary accidentally billed $166,000 for one patient when she should have billed $1660.

    This is a mistake on her part for which she apologizes. The money unfortunately cannot be returned as the Church spent it on Ideal Orgs.

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  4. Insurance companies are the only entity (body thetan or not) that sharks fear. A misplaced decimal point has cause other people years at hard labor.

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  5. The Narconon drug rehab program steps are entirely drug-free; that is, our drug rehabilitation program does not use drugs or medications to solve the problems caused by drugs, but does use nutrition and nutritional supplements as an important component of its delivery. Thus the Narconon program is neither a psychiatric nor medical, but a social education model of rehabilitation.

    Press Contact: Karin Pouw
    Tel: (323) 960-3500
    eMail: MediaRelations(at)ChurchofScientology(dot)net

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  6. A drug rehab program that is entirely drug free!!?? Holy Body Thetan!! The Marcabs developed the same thing over 75 million years ago…Xenu still owns the rights in this part of the empire.

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  7. Why does the building look is such disrepair? Are there no SO to work on that? Is there an RPF that could volunteer their manual labor?

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