Freewinds II — The Adventure Begins!

COB RTC David Miscavige is pleased to announce that the Church of Scientology has acquired an historic cruise ship to expand the Church’s line of seafaring spiritual retreats.

After renovations, The MV Freewinds II will become the worlds’ first Floating Ideal Org and a testament to the leadership of COB:

Freewinds.II

The hull plates are not wrinkled on the new ship, but your help is nevertheless needed to turn her into a floating palace.

We in RTC need you to make a heroic and painful donation to the IAS to fund the renovation. $90,000,000 is needed to rehab this glorious vessel and bring it up to it the standards of its sister ship The MV Freewinds.

And as you’re not actually doing anything meaningful or even remotely important with your life in present time, we in RTC must insist that you immediately sign a 2.5 year Staff contract to be a part of the team that rehabs the new ship. A Sea Org team will be at your home within an hour to take you to the airport. Please be ready.

There is a great deal of MEST work that needs to be done on the new ship. You are expected to be part of it in the beautiful port city of Alang, India where the renovation is to be done.

The IAS will pay for your first tetanus shot when you sign your 2.5 year staff contract!

As a dedicated Scientologist, you will also be expected to raise money for the Ideal Orgs from the thousands of wog shipyard workers in Alang. BTW, the Church is not even going to bother pretending with The Way to Happiness in Alang.  We are only concerned with getting our new ship reno’d and launched. COB wants to break a champagne bottle on the bow in 2015 in Curacao and so you need to snap and pop.

It is all such an incomprehensible adventure these days in the Church of Scientology!

9 responses to “Freewinds II — The Adventure Begins!

  1. OT8, if you can move objects with your mind, can’t you paint the Freewinds? And smooth out the wrinkles? I expect better things from the world’s fastest growing religion.

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  2. Pingback: The Modern and Official Church of Scientology! | OTVIIIisGrrr8!

  3. I didn’t see anything about visiting exciting ports of call, midnight buffets or thrilling entertainment such as Shields and Yarnell, the Captain and Tennille, or Bobcat Goldthwait. What gives? Do you even have working generators or a functional plumbing system?

    I have a bad feeling about this…..

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  4. The choice of Alang for working on the Freewinds II is inspired. Given that workers there typically earn between $10 and $15 per week, any Sea Org people that go there and continue to receive their current Sea Org salaries will feel positively wealthy by comparison to their new co-workers. Or is the plan to cut expenses still further by paying local salaries to your people?

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    • Is there another planet in the galaxy that pays even less?

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    • Bingo John P.!

      After much research, we in RTC discovered that Sea Org members can be affluent when based in Alang.

      The beauty of Alang is that it is a Capitalist location so no one can complain that we are paying communist slave wages. For the first time ever, the Church of Scientology will actually be paying well above prevailing wage.

      Thousands of shipyard workers in Alang will clamor to join the newest Sea Org profit center, and here we speak of Scientology Shipbreaking Services LLC

      Scientology Shipbreaking Services LLC has no considerations about asbestos, benzine, mercury, lead paint, or any other so-called carcinogens. Such “carcinogens” are mocked up and cannot harm the Scientology shipyard worker because he or she is OT and fully senior to the MEST universe in all ways.

      Fleet Admiral David Miscavige will be in Alang to host the grand opening of Scientology Shipbreaking Services LLC..

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  5. The carcinogens won’t hurt you as long as you fumigate it with a couple of packs of cigs (preferable Kools),

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