A Day in the Life: Fleet Admiral David Miscavige

An excerpt from an upcoming Freedom Magazine article entitled, A Day in the Life: Fleet Admiral David Miscavige.

Fleet Admiral David Miscavige

“Fleet Admiral David Miscavige sat on the far west end of his giant 18,000 foot Mouse Table staring at dozens of large screens up on the wall of the RTC Combat Information Center (CIC). Online entheta was up 21%, however, the Ideal Orgs were booming:

But more important than the Ideal Org stat was the news was pouring in that Scientology global expansion on the nineteen continents of the Earth was “straight up and vertical” which —  on a graph that shows time and units of expansions — meant that Scientology was now expanding straight up on the graph in terms of units and yet this was all happening OUTSIDE OF TIME.

“That is what a “straight up and vertical” line on a graph means: NO TIME, or OUTSIDE OF TIME.

“Due to the heroic efforts of Fleet Admiral David Miscavige, Scientology expansion has  finally gone exterior to time and was simply expanding straight up outside of the physical universe wherein reality was a function of agreement.

“No longer were the stats of the Church of Scientology subject to so-called wog mathematics in which 1+1 = 2. It had now become literally true that the Church of Scientology stats were whatever David Miscavige said they were, and, so of course the stats were straight up and vertical in a highest-ever screaming affluence — except of course for the Org you are in. The stats at your Org suck because you are downstat and are criminally withholding donations to the IAS.

As Fleet Admiral David Miscavige is himself at cause over the MEST universe, millions and millions of people were now having the outside-of-time cognition ‘I am a Scientologist.’ Indeed, this had happened to the Nation of Islam and now it was happening to:

“Mitt Romney.

“Mitt Romney was speaking at a campaign rally in the Champaign–Urbana area when he suddenly had the cognition that he was a Scientologist.

“Romney then declared to the audience, ‘I am a Scientologist and so are you.’ The audience suddenly cogged that they were in fact all Scientologists. Accordingly. they leapt to their feet and offered Mitt Romney a standing ovation that lasted a long time. True, the standing ovation was not as long as those received by Fleet Admiral David Miscavige, but still, it was a long time.

“After the rally, Mitt Romney realized that he needed to do Non-E with Fleet Admiral David Miscavige and so he phoned the Fleet Admiral.

“The historic phone call began:

“Hello Fleet Admiral Miscavige, this is Mitt Romney. I am calling to introduce myself to you and ask what you want and need from me when I become President of the United States of America….

“Just as Fleet Admiral David Miscavige had become cause over the IRS twenty years ago, he had now become cause over Mitt Romney.

“Fleet Admiral Miscavige knew that the first thing he needed to do was to put Mitt Romney into the special Tom Cruise Resurgence Rundown, a process whereby the movers and the shakers of the world such as Scientologists Greta Van Susteren and Juliette Lewis were processed to align with the Command Intention of David Miscavige to salvage this sector of the universe….”

13 replies »

  1. Dear OT8isGrrr8,

    I received the same call from Mitt. Didn’t Davey realize that the phone call was a recorded message? Also, to be truthful, Mitt actually sent his assistant out to get a box of over-the-counter Fleet Enema (the saline laxative) for irregularity. I can see why one could get an enema mixed up with Davey Miscavige, though, since anyone who has seen little Davey in a Fleet Admiral costume does tend to lose control of bodily functions from the lulz alone.

    Stay groovy, OT8!




      Mitt Romney personally called COB. We in RTC would never alter an automated campaign phone call into a major event in which Mitt Romney cogged that he was a Scientologist.

      Besides, there is no way that a telemarketing machine could have called COB because no one except Admiral Cruise has COB’s unlisted number.

      None of what you are saying makes sense because YOU ARE AN SP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  2. Knowledge Report

    jgg2012 and thenextmrstomcruise made 1.1 comments on the blog about OT abilities and about you in RTC having magical underpants. On 11/5/2012 at 3:26 pm thenextmrstomcruise said “OTVIII how do you know about the Magical Mormon Underpants? Do you in the RTC also have magical underpants?” On 11/5/2012 at 8:08 pm jgg2012 said ” Because he can see through people’s pants, just as he sees through walls.”

    These individuals are exhibiting out ethics behavior, and are joking and degrading. This is not ok. It is especially not ok to be joking and degrading about magical underwear, and OT abilities. If these individuals donated more to the IAS, and helped forward command intention, they would experience the bliss and benefits that come with knowing that they helped COB. What bigger joy is there in life? If they were not so out ethics, they would sell the magical underwear to Mormons, except they could say that it gave you OT abilities, rather than being magical. Magic is other practices anyway, and Mormons should be learning flowing to projects that support command intention. The money could be used to make the RTC building at the INT base “ideal.” I hear the hole is not ideal yet, so the money could be used to help mock up the “Ideal hole.” Something to consider.

    This is True,

    No Case on Post


    • Very well done nocaseonpost! We in RTC are giving you 4 hours of libs on Saturday for putting in ethics on those posters who have engaged in criminal Joking and Degrading (J&D). These SP’s seem to think that humor is allowed when in fact Scientology is a deadly serious business in which the entire agonized universe is at stake.

      And yes, those persons who have engaged in criminal J&D must upgrade their IAS Patron Status as a way of making up for the damage they have done to the group. We in RTC are highly offended by their whimsicality and attempt to portray we in RTC in a bad light.

      We in RTC were very deeply offended by MidwestMom’s allegation that Fleet Admiral Miscavige confused a robot telemarketing call from the Mitt Romney Campaign for an actual call from Mitt Romney. The fact is that Mitt Romney actually called COB and so did President Obama from their campaign offices.

      In their calls, both candidates urged Fleet Admiral Miscavige to donate money to their respective campaigns in the final hours of campaigning. Additionally, Fleet Admiral Miscavige has received mail from the Republican Party itself instructing him how to vote on various propositions in California.


      • OT8, you ain’t seen nothing yet. I still have not discussed the murder of Shelly, LRH’s bigamy or the homosexuality of Scientology celebrities, among other things.


  3. For you wogs to expect any politico to stick his or her neck out to attack the Church of Scientology is unrealistic. Only SP’s would ever attack the Church of Scientology or Fleet Admiral Miscavige as they have hidden crimes.

    The fact is that we in RTC order the IAS to spend a huge amount of money in Washington DC to buy influence for the Church of Scientology. Legislators may not like us but they like our money.

    We in the Church do not care if we are liked; what we care about is that Fleet Admiral Miscavige and the Church has the freedom to do whatever we want whenever we want and however we want.

    If we want to spend $3,000,000 of IAS funds to shoot a PR video of Scientology Cavalry charging around on horses and carrying torches, then we will do it. We in RTC like the idea of rampaging IAS warriors crushing Psychs and other SP’s under the hooves of their warhorses. Our inane parishioners eat this stuff up with a spoon and then write even more checks to the IAS:

    IAS Collector Plates Now Available!

    Accordingly. Fleet Admiral David Miscavige pays Monique Yingling of the DC law firm Zuckert, Scoutt & Rasenberger $7,000,000 per year and only gives here three orders:

    1. We in the Church need a great deal of extremely low cost labor we can exploit, but we would never break the law. Therefore, Monique Yingling has been able to use Sea Org contracts and ministerial exemption to safepoint the Church’s program of human slavery and the continuing corporal punishment, poverty, and sleep deprivation needed to keep our slaves in a state of abject obedience and terror. It would be onerous and unfair for the Church of Scientology to pay the minimum wage or to expend religious funds on wildly dangerous wog medical cures that actually harm people and politicians know this, for it is true of all religions in America.

    2. While we in the Church of Scientology are quite willing and even happy to scourge and crucify both our members and our enemies, we ourselves are not an R6 implant religion based upon crucifixion. Therefore, Monique Yingling acts to ensure that nothing sticks to Fleet Admiral David Miscavige or the Church when allegations of misconduct or impropriety occur. After all, the Fleet Admiral is the Ecclesiastical Leader of a global religious movement and cannot be viewed in an unfavorable light due to the baseless allegations of a tiny handful of bitter defrocked apostates. The Church must be seen as taking leadership in promoting the UN Universal Declaration of Human Rights as well engaging in social betterment programs. We do not practice human rights, but we certainly preach the message of human rights to unwary potential converts who can be sucked in by it.

    3. Fleet Admiral Miscavige must, at all times, have billions of tax exempt dollars of parishioner dollars at his disposal to spend as he wishes. These dollars are not be encumbered by stupid laws related to the ways in which wog R6 implant religions may spend tax exempt dollars. As the de facto CFO of the IAS, Monique Yingling ensures that Fleet Admiral Miscavige can dip into big fat IAS piggy bank whenever he wants and can take as much as wants.


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