Are you a wealthy, hideous, lonely narcissistic man who wants an obedient trophy wife?
If so, we in the Church of Scientology can make your dreams come true with our new Wife Auditioning Services Program, an exclusive service formerly reserved only for the most elite and wealthy Scientology celebrity OT’s.
How does this program work you ask?
It is simple: Our Scientology Volunteer Ministers have recruited over 1,000 extraordinarily beautiful women into the Sea Org from the scenes of disasters in Eastern Europe, the Middle East, and Haiti in the past several years.
Following their entry into the US as religious volunteers, we in Scientology used our proven SP Hole “special processing techniques” on these already traumatized young women to turn them into mindlessly obedient wives for those men who have the requisite $20,000,000 required to purchase a Scientology trophy wife!
And do we have some beautiful women for you to choose from! In the auditioning process, you will be allowed to interview wife candidates as well as read their Sea Org life histories so that you know everything — and we mean everything — about them!
Imagine owning your very own Scientology-trained wife trophy wife:
* No flashback or arguing!
* Instant obedience!
* Willing and able to live on a $20 per week allowance!
* Will not talk to anyone else except you!
* Will report to her Scientology handler for weekly sec checks!
* Will not use or operate a laptop, cellphone, the internet, or a television!
* Will stay slender on a special diet of rice and beans!
And best of all: Your Scientology-trained wife trophy wife cannot flee as we in RTC are holding her passport in an unknown location somewhere overseas!
Forgot those so-called wog marriage brokers! These out ethics con artists will saddle you with some angry foreign mail order bride who will proceed to marry you, beat you, divorce you, and then take all of your money!
Multimillionaire “E.D.L” of Iowa is ecstatically happy with Karina, his lovely Estonian Scientology-trained wife trophy wife:
Call we in RTC today for confidential details!