Off Limits! New Book Attacking COB RTC David Miscavige and Tom Cruise!

We in RTC have declared as OFF LIMITS the new book by bitter defrocked apostate Mark Rathbun.

This book is in the same league as the movie of The Exorcist, which we in the Church of Scientology also banned as it alluded it OT III materials. We warned you not to see The Exorcist in 1971 as it could put your OT III case into restim. The Church had to fix opened up case which only Class VIII’s could handle for those who disobeyed and saw the movie. In like manner, if you read Rathbun’s book:

1. You will pay a minimum of $100,000 in sec checks for even reading one chapter!

2. There is a possibility of you having to do steps A-E!

3. RTC is in no mood to hold back on further SP Declares!

Do not disobey the Command Intention of  COB RTC David Miscavige on this matter! He has had to invest big money on PI’s to handle the existing scene and you do not want to be found to be “open minded” or “reasonable” about this book by Mark Rathbun, While Mark “Marty” Rathbun was formerly IG RTC, he is now an SP and all Scientologists are ordered to Disconnect from him and his books lest you fall prey to the contagion of suppression!

Just like in the old days, when Scientologists purchased copies of Battlefield Earth to help pump up sales, we in RTC are asking Scientologists to go and buy up all copies of Mark “Marty” Rathbun’s book and turn them into OSA. We want all copies of this book off bookstore shelves! Buying copies and turning them into OSA will give you a free pass towards your next Eligibility for OT Levels!

Wogs caught reading this book — or even reading about this book on wog blogs such as that hosted by SP Tony Ortega – will be arrested by OSA and sent to one of the dozens of Wog Thought Crime Detention Centers (WTCDC) located throughout the world.

You have all been duly warned.

Carry on.

11 responses to “Off Limits! New Book Attacking COB RTC David Miscavige and Tom Cruise!

  1. Oh the LULZ! OTVIIIisGrrr8! – I think I lurve you!

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  2. I have an idea….

    Why don’t you all at RTC just buy up all the copies of Marty’s book and burn them?

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  3. burnedbutnotbitter

    Even funnier, you should make the book cover a link to Amazon.com to purchase it.

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  4. Yes Sir, your command is my demise, I mean desire.

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  5. We in Global Capitalism HQ wonder how you in RTC plan to buy up and burn all the e-book copies of Marty Rathbun’s new book. You’ll never empty the warehouse, since an e-book is just a collection of bits copied over the internet. Amazon will never run out.

    If you decide to try this anyway, would you please take a second and drop us a quick note before you get started? We’d like to buy some call options on Amazon’s stock before you blitz their servers with orders for Kindles that you would have to put the e-books on in order to burn. If you burn 100,000 e-books, each in its own brand spanking new Kindle, that would give Amazon about $16,000,000 in incremental revenue, which ought to move the stock enough for us to make a few beans on it. Not enough to buy another yacht, but it would be kind of a fun trade.

    As always, we in Global Capitalism HQ appreciate your help, since your “Pinky and the Brain” schemes usually end up enriching us far more than they end up enriching you.

    Best regards,

    –John P.

    Like

  6. ERMAGHERD ERTEIGHT HERS A BLERGGGGG

    In all seriousness though this is epic.

    Like

  7. Too late…now send me to jail

    Like

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