“A troubled Prince Andrew has turned to we in the Church of Scientology for help,” said spokesman Ken Delusion. “The Flag Case Supervisor has ordered the Prince to undergo 100 hours of […]
Mr. L. Ron Hubbard, Founder of Dianetics and Scientology, teleported in from T2 for the grand opening of the Central Ohio Ideal Org. Mr. Hubbard wowed the audience with an update on […]
Encouraged by the ways in which Scientology has helped Nation of Islam members become better Muslims, the Aryan Brotherhood today announced that its members have begun Dianetics and Scientology courses in the […]
“It was freak accident,” declared Ken Delusion. “Mr. Miscavige’s right wrist and forearm became entangled in the helium balloons when they were released. The bantamweight Mr. Miscavige was suddenly swept heavenward by […]
“While cresting the edge of the Gale crater on Mars, NASA’s Curiosity rover was suddenly presented with a stunning view of an ancient and deserted Cult temple on Mars!,” announced NASA astroarcheologist […]
The new Narconon Ghost Writer Software includes 1,000 stock photos of happy Narconon graduates. The automated name generator comes with a social security number engine that collects SSN’s from the dark […]
Scientology Space Admiral Miscavige rocketed to Target 2 today in search of the missing OT levels 9-15. “L. Ron Hubbard took OT levels 9-15 with him when he dropped his body and […]
“Everyone hates we in Scientology these days,” exclaimed Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “That’s why COB’s new strategy is ‘fuck em!‘ We in Scientology are going back to the good ol’ Guardians Office […]
Do you have what it takes to be the fourth Mrs. Tom Cruise? Open enrollment for Tom Cruise wife auditions runs through December 2019. Please send photos and your all-important incisor teeth […]
COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige had just been introduced to the crowd. Suddenly, the Joker walked onstage and began to tell the assembled Scientologists that the Church of Scientology was a bad […]
