OTVIIIisGrrr8!

The World's Best Satire of the Church of Scientology and its Leader David Miscavige

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Scientology Celebrity Centre Bans Danny Masterson As His Ankle Bracelet Monitor is Out PR

By OTVIIIisGrrr8! on June 19, 2020 • ( 1 Comment )

“COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige has  banned Danny Masterson from the Celebrity Centre due to the ankle bracelet he must wear while he is out on $3.3 million bail awaiting trial on […]

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Scientology’s “Occupy Clearwater” Nearing Its Final Goal of a Complete Takeover!

By OTVIIIisGrrr8! on June 15, 2020 • ( 4 Comments )

The Church of Scientology’s “Occupy Clearwater” is now in its 48th year. We in Scientology own vast swaths of Downtown Clearwater and aim to smash all opposition to a complete takeover. Our […]

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Scientology Leader Miscavige Highly Insulted: No E-Meters or OT Materials Have Been Stolen By Looters! Do the Looters Really Think Apple & Gucci are Better Things to Steal?

By OTVIIIisGrrr8! on June 2, 2020 • ( 2 Comments )

After decades of insisting that the Psychs, the Illuminati, the Vatican, the CIA, and the Freemasons are engaged in a plot to steal Scientology’s Tech, David Miscavige is highly insulted by the […]

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Scientologists Refuse to Shelter in Place. Take to the Streets to Body Route Wogs into Orgs

By OTVIIIisGrrr8! on May 26, 2020 • ( 4 Comments )

With the Church of Scientology’s income having crashed to minus zero, Church leader David Miscavige ordered all Scientologists in America out on the streets. “The job of all Scientologists is to body […]

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Church of Scientology Offers to Dispose of Your Dangerous Contaminated Cash As a Free Public Service

By OTVIIIisGrrr8! on May 16, 2020 • ( 2 Comments )

“Cash is trash,” declared Scientology money hygiene expert Ken Delusion. “Cash is so very dangerous and contaminated these days that it can literally kill you on contact.” “For this reason, we in […]

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Secret Psych Implanter Elon Musk Lures Tom Cruise into a Space Trap!

By OTVIIIisGrrr8! on May 9, 2020 • ( 2 Comments )

Q: How does a Psych capture a mighty thetan like Tom Cruise? A: Space Secret Psych Implanter Elon Musk has lured Tom Cruise into a trap by offering him a ride into […]

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Scientology Leader David Miscavige Receives a Solid Gold Toilet for His 60th Birthday

By OTVIIIisGrrr8! on April 30, 2020 • ( 6 Comments )

COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige received a $5 million dollar solid gold toilet from the Sea Org as an acknowledgement of all that he has done for the Church of Scientology. Mr. […]

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Mystery of High Speed UFO Tracked by US Navy Solved

By OTVIIIisGrrr8! on April 28, 2020 • ( 11 Comments )

US Navy F-18 Super Hornets tracked a mysterious UFO recently. A follow up investigation determined that the aerial vehicle was Scientology leader David Miscavige fleeing the service of subpoena in several cases […]

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Scientology Chairman David Miscavige Stands Ready to Take Over North Korea

By OTVIIIisGrrr8! on April 27, 2020 • ( 6 Comments )

With Kim Jong Un dead or nearly dead as reported, Scientology Chairman David Miscavige today announced that he is ready to take over North Korea. “My decades of leading Scientologists into crushing […]

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Grant Cardone’s Latest Revelation: “I’m the Leader of a Secret Martian Sex Cult!”

By OTVIIIisGrrr8! on April 18, 2020 • ( 4 Comments )

Grant Cardone revealed today in an Instagram video that he has long been the leader of a secret Martian Sex Cult. “I have my 10x Martian sex slave bitches serving me hourly,” […]

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