“The Church of Scientology’s new ad campaign for Fall 2014 is based upon a popular internet meme,” Church spokesman Ken Delusion announced during his daily press briefing at the Scientology One News […]
“Folks are just so doggone crazy about those “all you can eat” specials at wog restaurants,” observed Dr. Eldon Weiner, CO Marketing Development, Flag Land Base. “The Olive Garden offered its a […]
“You can run but you can’t hide,” declared Sea Org Commander Linda Beater, CO of BSOMRU (Blown Sea Org Member Recovery Unit). “And so when Melden Fenster blew the Sea Org in […]
“The MV Freewinds has run out of fuel, electrical power, and food somewhere between Aruba and Cartagena,” reported Commander Ken Delusion of the Scientology Maritime Bureaux. “The ship is now drifting aimlessly […]
“Scientologists on GAT II are going exterior with no perceptions in record numbers,” enthused Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “Exterior with No Perceptions is the single most important GAT II technical breakthrough ever […]
“Following COB’s ecclesiastical triumph of relocating the Purif and TR’s and Objectives to their rightful place high atop the Bridge after New OT VIII, Mr. Miscavige has now found another piece of […]
We in the Church of Scientology recently had our girl Sylvia Stanard speak at an interfaith gathering. Sylvia’s soul-stirring speech at Chautauqua has been acclaimed for excellence in religious truth-telling. In the […]
“It can all be summed up in two words,” declared Church of Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion, “COB cares.” “Indeed, COB cares so very, very much that he recently and fully surveyed the […]
“If you did the OT Levels and became confused or stalled, well you’re not alone!” declared COB RTC David Miscavige. “The Bridge to Total Freedom has never been properly understood due to […]
We in RTC are pleased to present another inspirational talk and call to action by Comrade Dr. Frank Wonderman. Здравствуйте! My fellow Scientologists, we in COB’s newly created Fundraising Police have been […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 