“We in RTC can’t believe how inexpensive it was to hire international superstar Bill Cosby to be the face of our new COB Inna Box™ pudding for Scientologists” enthused Church spokesman Ken […]
COB Inna Box
Tom Cruise Promoted to Rear Admiral; Given Highest Scientology Award Ever
Scientology Sea Org Fleet Admiral David Miscavige today promoted Captain Tom Cruise to Rear Admiral and awarded him with the Order of the Operating Golden Thetan VIII, the highest medal ever given […]
The Church of Scientology Celebrity Routing Out Sec Check
“With the sudden and unexpected news of Jason Lee’s public announcement that he no longer practices Scientology, COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige has ordered the new Church of Scientology Celebrity Routing Out […]
Now it Can be Told: Hillary Clinton Got Pneumonia After Exposure to the OT Materials!
Hillary Clinton was exposed to the OT materials without the proper set-ups at Flag. As a result, she caught pneumonia and began freewheeling through her implants. Hillary called all of the BT’s […]
RTC IG/J&D Captain HelluvaHoax on Refunds
The Lost Tech of Refunds has been located by RTC IG/J&D Captain HelluvaHoax of ESMB (External Scientology Messengers Bureaux). VWD HH!
The Psychiatric Illuminati Behind “Burning Man” Incinerate Mankind’s Only Hope of Salvation in a Scientology Witch Hunt
“Once again the Psychiatric Illuminati have attacked Mankind’s only hope of salvation when they burned Scientology scripture in their Scientology witch hunt,” declared Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “Freedom Magazine has discovered that […]
COB and COB ASST on the way back to Los Angeles after ribbon pull on Australia Ideal Org
COB: I hate Australia… I hate Australians! COB ASST: You hate everyone. COB: True. COB: How did I look Lou? Did I look great or what? COB ASST: You looked great Dave. […]
Church of Scientology to Become Speedo Cult
After watching Holy Hell, the new documentary about the Buddha Field cult, COB RTC David Miscavige had a epiphany: The Church of Scientology needed to be reinvented as a Speedo Cult. Accordingly, […]
The September IAS Fundraiser Begins Now!
The September IAS fundraiser begins now! Vast and staggering sums of money are needed to fund these vital programs: 1. The Youth for Human Rights International RPF program. The dilettantes in YHRI […]
Hillary Completes OT III at Flag!
Hillary had problems at Flag with the OT III materials, but once we handled her crashing misunderstood on BT’s she F/N’d and attested to having completed the level.
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 